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Humor: NASCAR

by Alexandra Heep

Created on: August 29, 2008   Last Updated: September 03, 2008

Just like the old division of North and South, when it comes to NASCAR you have two factions: The die-hard NASCAR fans or the ones that say NASCAR is not even a sport. Or, as a friend jokingly said to me: NASCAR stands for "Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks". Guess which side she belongs to? That's okay; we can be friends anyway, just not on Sundays.

There is no in-between; the only fence in this sport is the one Tony Stewart (unfortunately) chooses to climb when he wins a race. By now you probably figured out which side I am on. If you are on my side, you know this fence-climbing picture is not exactly appealing, unless you are a Tony Stewart fan of course. If you belong to the "enemy", don't worry; you don't need to know who Tony Stewart is anyway.

However, if you expected another article trying to show what makes NASCAR a sport (in my opinion) you may be disappointed. Or not, depending which side you are on. Sure, I am eager to talk about how they have to turn right four times a year (at the road courses). Indeed, I would like to point out what it's like to drive in 120-degree heat without air condition.

I would not mind stating the obvious that drivers are locked in for at least four hours without a bathroom break and how some have won races while they had the stomach flu. Well, I guess they did have incentive to cross the finish line first, or take the checkered flag as we call it.

One year Tony Stewart gave up the mandatory post race interview and they showed him on a golf cart accelerating towards - the blue cubicle. No, I am not a Tony Stewart fan - quite the contrary. I am not sure why I am using him as an example. Yes I do know, as my driver is not popular so there isn't much to talk about.

What I really like to talk about is that going to a NASCAR race in person is just like what the drivers themselves go through, even a sport in itself. What, you don't believe me? Perhaps I can convince you.

The drive to the racetrack is just what the drivers go through, only at 200 miles less per hour. It's bumper to bumper; up to five wide, just like Talladega. Your spotter is usually the spouse or significant other next to you. He will shout "clear" at the first sign of an opening in the lane next to you - only to find out you were hung out to dry by the driver of an opposing team two lanes over.

We all have multiple identifying car numbers, in this case the stickers, flags or even personalized license plates of our favorite drivers. Rivalries mirror exactly

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