by Roxanne Tracy

Created on: August 29, 2008   Last Updated: September 02, 2008

I became involved in a long distance relationship nine years ago. Yet, this story is not your typical one to tell. Throughout this very important relationship in my life, I married and he married. Moreover, not to each other. He lives in Massachusetts, I in Connecticut. The distance really is not that far in terms of miles. Emotionally, the distance can be as close as lips to lips, and then as far as China is to St. Louis. We never have been the adulterous type, always respecting our respective partners over the years. You could say our timing is like Murphy's Law. If it can go wrong, it will. Yet, the love remains. It tortures, and enlightens, and moves us both. It always brings us back to each other.

Throughout the years and in between partners we would escape together. When he had business in Philadelphia, I took the train and met him. We met, fell more in love, and spent several days together. We were so happy to breathe in each other, wishing for time to stop. That is what it is always like when we are together. I look at clocks, and wish as a child does, to please, please make time stop. Every minute, every second spent together brings us home. When we get the time to see each other I cannot get there fast enough. Our time spent together is in each other's arms; there really is not any time that we are not touching. Fingers on calves, lips brushing his beautiful ears, always loving each other. The hardest part has always been saying goodbye. It is usually like a scene from a movie, man walks out door, and woman sits on bed and tries to collect herself. There have been many tears shed throughout this relationship on both our parts.

We have had our complications and unexpected tragedies to deal with. Recently, I suffered a miscarriage. This was not something we planned. The hardest part was that I had to experience it alone. Because of his schedule, he was not able to be here for me. Of course, we spoke on the phone, and he tried to be as supportive as possible. To be honest this was one of the more painful experiences of my life. Even at this time, I am not sure if we will survive it intact. It has brought up a wall between us that has caused some distance between us.

When we are apart, it is not easy. We both live very different lives in different places. He is an artist, and is always traveling throughout New England. He has children from former marriages, and so his time is very limited. At times, it is a very uneven relationship. He has many more demands

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