by Angelique Ellerman

Created on: August 28, 2008

Abuse can take many forms and can come from anyone and anywhere. The effects that abuse leaves on our psyche can affect those who are unfortunate enough for the rest of their lives.

Since all abuse is not necessarily physical but mental and emotional as well, it's sometimes hard, especially for children, to know they are being abused. They only know they feel horrible and want to be accepted. For adults abuse can wear them down until there seems to be nothing left.

Having my own life to draw experience from as well as every book I've read to date, there is one common thread that unites us all. And no it's not the abuse; it's our humanity. Our humanity is what makes us truly unique as well as irreplaceable.

Unfortunately, those who have been subjected to abuse tend to blame themselves, draw inward and grow up fast. Even more unfortunate is a large majority of survivors tend to repeat those same patterns throughout their own life. They seem almost helpless to stop themselves and the chain of abuse remains unbroken for yet another generation.

Fortunately, there are also many survivors who not only break away from their chains of abuse but change their lives for the better and even empower others to break away as well. These seemingly superhuman individuals seem to never let their past, no matter how horrific, get to them. But the truth is they are not superhuman, they are humans with memories and emotions just like you and me and are simply trying to do their best with the life they've been given.

So how can we as individuals overcome such adversity? More importantly is the question: Do we all have that same power within to shape our lives? Yes we do! Each and every one of us can be our happiest and truest self while living a more fulfilled life. No matter what you may have gone through or may be going through right now. Each of us has our own personal power and it starts with our self esteem.

That's not to say is doesn't take some work to achieve your best self. Abuse takes away a person's self esteem and this must be restored first. By accepting your self, your whole self; which means your flaws and all, you can find your self esteem. Accepting your flaws means accepting your opinions, values, needs and sometimes scary emotions for what they are: part of you. Forgive yourself when you mess up, learn from it and move on. Stop attacking yourself when something doesn't quite turn out right. Instead be gentle with yourself, again learn from it and then accept that

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