by Alexandra Heep

Created on: August 28, 2008   Last Updated: September 22, 2008

Dumb things can be of verbal or physical nature. While saying dumb things does not necessarily mean the date will be over, there are some verbal faux pas that can't be ignored. A woman will generally give a man some leeway when it comes to words, as she is likely to be nervous as well and does not want to say the wrong things either.

So, how is a guy to know what will drop the other shoe, or even the guillotine? Any verbal comment of a chauvinistic nature will probably be the end of the date. For example, any comment that implies a woman to a cleaning or subservient role. Even if it's meant as a joke, the first date is not the place to joke around like that.

I have a good example: I was e-mailing a guy I was interested in. He asked me what I was doing over the previous weekend. I said I was cleaning my house. His reply was if I wanted to come over and clean his. This was before we had even met. Needless to say, the first date never happened.

Chances are, if a comment like this was made on a first date, a second date would be unlikely to happen as well. Of course it was probably meant as a joke, and I can laugh at myself and even at blonde jokes, but I don't think it was a good way to open a door for someone you were in the process of getting to know.

Other examples would be any derogatory, gender specific comments, such as about the woman's job. If she is an executive, a comment like "wow that is pretty good to get ahead being a woman and all" is likely to open an invisible trapdoor underneath your chair. The same goes for if a woman has a job is in a traditional gender specific field, such as working as a nurse. A comment like "yes that is a good job, considering women are nurturing and all" would be a dumb thing to say.

Other comments in regards to children and of a maternal nature aren't the smartest things to say on a first date either. For a man to imply anything that has to do with a woman's place being at home taking care of children and the household chores is a red light.

Of course there is nothing wrong if that is the desire of the woman, or the man is happy to take on a role of provider in a long-term relationship. However, there are much better ways to say this, and generally not at the getting-to-know-you stage.

Other dumb things to say on a man's part would be derogatory statements about ex-wives and ex-girlfriends. While all adults have history and we all know we won't find a forty year old virgin, making general statements about how women take men

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