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It was a personal dilemma that had plagued me for much of my adult life. I had always longed for closeness in a relationship; for emotional intimacy with a like-minded soul. At the same time, I consider myself a free spirit, with no particular attachment to the rules of society. I am an advocate of free expression in all things, including love, but those two things seem to mutually exclude each other for most people. Many people can be open sexually or emotionally, but not both. After years of struggling to find my special someone, I was caught completely by surprise when I found a long-distance relationship that fulfilled these needs in me completely.

As cliche as it sounds, we met at a club. We struck up a conversation and hit it off immediately. There was chemistry between us, of course, but it was more than that, at least for me. His eyes were deep and his smile was genuine. I felt an instinctive connection with him. Shortly into our conversation I found out that he lived 600 miles away, and to say I was disappointed is an understatement, but I decided to simply enjoy the time we had and live in the moment with him. We spent the next few days together, inseparable, and then he left me with the age-old promise to keep in touch.

Much to my surprise, our communication only got stronger after he left. The distance between us actually kept us from jumping headfirst into a purely sexual relationship. We talked for hours at a time and became intimate on an emotional and spiritual level, something I had never really done before. He was much more traditional and wanted marriage and a family eventually, so I was a bit of a challenge for him. Our personal philosophies could have been disastrous for the relationship but again, the distance kept us communicating. We began to understand each other and respect each other's differences.

The real test came a few weeks after we'd met when I went out with someone I had been seeing off and on for years and we spent the night together. I knew that honesty was essential to a relationship but I was afraid that admitting my sexual encounter would damage this new relationship that I had come to treasure. We had talked theoretically about the need for sexual freedom but would that talk stand up against the real thing? I decided that the only way to move forward was to be true to myself and trust him, so I told him. He reacted very much like I had anticipated. He was hurt but knew it was unfair to feel that way when we lived so far

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