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Always having a knack for people was something I took great pride in. I admit I didn't have a lot of schooling. I had only taken a 9 month course at a vocational school to become a drug and alcohol counselor. I loved the field though. People intrigue me as a whole.

After working for a few years at a local group home for teenage boys I began to move up. I was allowed to take part in the process of interviewing possible residents at local group homes. This was the beginning of my realization as to how sad the field I was in could truly be.

It is sad to walk into a juvenile hall time and time again only to see the same faces. It became evident to me that the notorious career criminal starts at a very young age. Unfortunately, society doesn't see it this way. We seem unaware of the fact that even the juvenile halls are, most of the time, overcrowded. The buildings can be old and leaking and in need of major repairs, but we do not see these things. We only notice the adults.

Time and time again I was faced with the bitter sweet sensation of a boy graduating from our program. After staying with us for six to nine months their probation officer would give them a release date. On that day we, the staff and residents, would celebrate. We would make a big dinner and invite their family up and have a ceremony. Giving them a coin and saying some nice words they were back off into their world.

I wish that I could say that even 50% of these boys would go home and excel at home. I wish I could even say that 25% would do better and we would not see them again. However, most of the time when they did go home, no matter how much progress we would make in the program, home was still the same place. Success average was 10%.

We encouraged all of the families to become as involved in the treatment process as possible. We explained to them that no matter how many changes we could make in the group home, if they went right back to the same family nothing would change. Parents would make a few attempts at taking part. But sadly for most cases it dwindled quickly.

Most of these parents truly felt that it was up to their child to make things different and make things work out for them. Now I understand that the child does have to make big changes for it to be believable. These children have been putting their families through living hell for years. However, when is it okay for the parents to simply give up?

When we take on the responsibility of being a parent, we take it all on. There is no giving up, or saying "that is enough" and turning your back. It cannot be an option. No matter how adult these children act or pretend to be, the fact is that our children are just that, children. They need the positive influence that only a good parent can give. We are who they look at and rely on for so many forms of role modeling.

I worked with a boy who was 16 and had a huge tattoo that covered his stomach. He told me that when he was 10 years old his dad paid for him to get it. His own father bought him a 40 oz. bottle of Old English malt liquor and sat with him for support while he got it done. I was floored. What was this "father" thinking? What would ever make that okay?

My point I guess is that through working with boys in a group home for 4 years showed me a few things. For so many kids the future is bleak because there is no longer enough love from a mother and a father to carry a child through life. The other thing I learned is, maybe I am not cut out to work with these children. Even though I love the work with the kids and loved every boy I ever worked with. What I learned to hate the most was the families who had more important things to do than be a family.

Learn more about this author, Genesis H..
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