by WriterGirl

Created on: August 27, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

It can be horrible when your friend thinks you've "stolen" their crush. It doesn't matter if you didn't know they were crushing on the person, if the object of the crush likes you and you like them, or if you honestly have tried to deny your feelings for the person because you want to be a good friend. Eventually a whole lot of drama is going to go down.

It's happened to me. I didn't know my friend was interested in this guy and when I started connecting with him I didn't think twice about going on a date with him. I did eventually ask my friend if she was okay with it, and she said it was great that two of her friends were clicking. There was no sign of jealousy. Well, none that I saw anyway.

The whole thing was made worse by the fact my friend also had a boyfriend. Perhaps I might have acted differently if that hadn't been a factor. I have had the crush on the same guy as friends before and never crossed the line or been in a fight with them over it. Of course we were all honest about it and most of the time who we were crushing on was totally unattainable.

Anyway after one date any romantic spark had fizzled out but we stayed friends but the damage was done. Suddenly everyone was fighting about small things until it all came to a boil. In the end I lost a friend, she lost her boyfriend, and the guy she had a crush on was forced to tell her why he wasn't interested in her which she didn't take well. I felt really bad for her and even though she had said some very hurtful things to me I tried to help her pick up the pieces. But it was never the same again and we couldn't be as close as we were before.

So from then on, if I even suspected my friends had a crush on a guy (even if they had a boyfriend) I put him in the "hands off" category. Even if I didn't care too much when people dated my crushes I knew it could be an issue if it was the other way around. In my mind if people click they click and who was I to stand in their way? Plus I never wanted to have to deal with the drama again. It wasn't worth it.

If you do end up knowingly dating your friend's crush then at least be honest with them about it. Sneaking around will only backfire and cause a big mess. Also try to think about how you would feel if it was your crush. Be understanding if they feel hurt or rejected. It's only reasonable that they might, but hopefully they'll get over it. They may even end up being happy for you.

Thankfully this is something I don't have to deal with anymore. It's one of the many things I don't miss about being single.

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