by Logan Brouse

Created on: August 27, 2008   Last Updated: November 27, 2011

If everything you know about tequila can be summed up by that one time in college when you blacked out after drinking one to many shots down in Cabo for spring break then get ready to have your eyes opened. Relax, pour a sangrita and prepare to belly up to the bar in style - the tequila guide is here.

First and foremost tequila is a a product of the agave plant and comes in a three major varieties. Like cognac or champagne tequila can only come for Tequila, Mexico and is guaranteed to put more hair on your chest then a skin graft from Sean Connery and a bottle of rogaine.

The most basic and most popular is silver tequila. This blanco tequila is either immediately bottled after distillation or left to age in an oak barrel for no more then 3 months. The most popular is Patron Silver and also one of the worst. Its fine and awesome if Lil john wants to keep it all up in his cup, but be a discerning adult and go for something with some style, like the new and excellent Jose Cuervo Platino.

Now, usually in the tequila world , Jose Cuervo is a four letter word, but this new to the market tequila is really making strides to distance itself from its bad reputation and like Tracy Lords is hoping to go straight and break into the mainstream.

Good tequila never needs lime and salt to cover its burn, in the biz we call them training wheels and they are for amateurs. Instead show you know what you're doing and order a sangrita back. It's basically spicy tomato juice or bloody mary mix and compliments the heat of the booze with its own sanguine succulence. Silver is the best to either mix or shoot. If margaritas are becoming a bore you can spice it up with a Paloma which is tequila and grapefruit soda.

Next up on the list we have Reposado tequila, the literal translation is "Rested" and if you have a few of these, you will be too. Repo tequila has been aged in oak barrels for a minimum of two months. Its got a golden hue and a slightly more smoky taste to it. Repo is different then gold tequila because gold tequila is a trick played stupid gringos from the midwest to get them to buy silver tequila with carmel additives and is totally and completely an evil joke. You're an adult with access to the Internets, now you can drink like one too. Once a tequila goes from a blanco to a Repo it also goes from a shooter to a sipper. The good one cost more, a favorite being Chamucos which means boogie man, as in I'm drinking stuff even the boogie mans afraid of. This level of tequila

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