by Lowri Ann Davies

Created on: August 27, 2008   Last Updated: March 31, 2009

Keeping the sex in your relationship fresh and spicy is quite a task, often other everyday things can get in the way. Stress from home or from work and often personal insecurities and relationship insecurities can also become sexual inhibitors and keep you distracted and tense. Sex is important for both homo and heterosexual relationships alike and it is a way of expressing how you feel to one another in a physical and intimate way.

Helping one another relax and unwind after a stressful day is such a brilliant way of getting in the mood. Cooking dinner together and telling one another about your means that you can forget about what happened that day and concentrate on the evening. Just giving each other a long hug whilst you have a nice hot drink will help release tension and begin the evening as you mean to go on, close together. Eating dinner together is another lovely gesture to get you in the mood. Dressing up for dinner is a lovely gesture too as its a way of eliminating your own body insecurities and makes the evening seem special.

You can leave the washing up until afterwards, you wouldn't want to miss the main event! Playing some games or dancing to some nice music is a good way to keep things fresh and new. Try new things, obviously things that you're comfortable with but things that perhaps you never thought of or even silly stuff. For example applying silly rules for a whole evening in or out, like 'no underwear over dinner rule' or 'naked chef rule' just to provide a little bit of saucy entertainment. Another way to spice things up is to keep them guessing, perhaps little notes in their coat pockets or under their pillow.

Sexy texts are fantastic, maybe even photographs, little sexy treats or instructions for what they can do to/ for you when hey get home. Similarly taking it in turns to be in control is a good way of keeping things new let one of you control the other for an evening and vice versa. Fantasy is a very important key to refreshing sexual relationships as it allows you to indulge in risque things you find sexually attractive and to explore one another in new ways. Making fantasy short stories and leaving them somewhere for your partner (and only them) to find. Or perhaps engaging in a little role play once and while, like pretending to be other people and meeting at a bar dressed differently to the norm. Make sure you utilise all of the senses smell touch taste, the best way to do this is by depriving them of one sense. Like tying them up and performing a dance up close to them, or blindfolds to tease them. Divulging in fantasies is quite a delicate thing as sometimes fantasies can be shocking so prepare to be open minded.

And just enjoy yourself, lose inhibitions and let yourself go.

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