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Discouraging your partner's annoying habits really depends on how long you've been with your partner, what their annoying habits are, and what you hope to accomplish by discouraging their annoying habits.

If you are simply wanting to discourage their annoying habits because you are truly uncomfortable with something they do, then by all mean, discuss it with them. If it's because you are having unrealistic expectations of another person and their behavior/habits, then perhaps it's something within you that you're having a problem with, or something you need to work on.

If you are only dating your partner and have been for a very short time, then perhaps you should re-think your relationship with your partner. In a situation like that, it may be best to end things and find a more compatible companion/partner for yourself.

If you've been with your partner for a long time, are living with them or married, then figure out why you want to discourage their annoying habits and why those "annoying habits" have all of the sudden become intolerable to you. Most annoying habits are relatively small things, that just kind of get on our nerves on a daily basis, and can be lived with in a way that won't drive you both crazy.

Wanting to discourage someone else's annoying habits usually means that we are either incompatible with them on some level, have unrealistic expectations of them, or perhaps there is the possibility that we are unable to be happy or satisfied and accepting someone as they are. If your partner changes their "annoying" habits, and you still aren't happy, or you find something else about them that annoys you, perhaps the problem really lies within you.

Some things are really not worth fighting or making a big deal about. So he/she doesn't fold towels the same way you do, is it really worth making a big deal about? He/she forgets to throw their dirty laundry in the hamper... how difficult is it to just pick them up yourself if they don't change this habit after reminding?

It's also a good idea to ask yourself, what attracted me to him/her in the first place? If it's a habit that you used to find endearing, but now find annoying- chances are the problem isn't necessarily with your partner or their habits, it's with you.

Relationships are all about compromise and acceptance. If your partner has an annoying habit that you truly just can't live with, then maybe a compromise is in order. Perhaps you can get them to change their habits, if you agree to work on a particularly annoying habit of your own.

Or, you can try accepting your partner as they are- flaws, annoying habits and all- and just love and appreciate your partner for who they are, what brought you together, what you loved about them to begin with, and ignore the annoying habits.

And again, if there's something about them that you truly just can't stand- ask yourself why it's become intolerable, what you expect to gain by asking them to change, and then ask yourself if you are truly compatible with them or truly love them if you can't accept them as they are.

Before you demand that your partner change his/her habits, ask yourself if you are being realistic, and see if you really should continue your relationship with them. If you are already married to them, then try to remember what brought you together in the first place and try to compromise!

Just remember, you have some annoying habits yourself. We all do! If your partner isn't demanding that you change your annoying habits, do you really have to insist that he/she do so?

Learn more about this author, Julie Vincent.
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