by Stena Johnson

Created on: August 27, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Good Morning Angels and Welcome to your mid-week Inspirational thought. You all have things in life that make you feel temporarily weakened, but know that nothing can control you once you have established a boundary. Boundaries should be established with every relationship in life. I say this not to be Domineering but rather in a strengthening manner. When you establish a boundary, you send any type of manipulation from the opposing side running the other direction. Some of us were raised being under minded, under estimated, and controlled in a negative way, others of us were not and as a result- are able to have some what healthy minded relationships with Family and our friends.

I recently had the opportunity of establishing a boundary with my Mother. Those of you who know me, know that my Mother suffers from a mental illness. As a result of that, I have had many years of my life spent with out her involved in any way. My father is another story with the same result minus the mental illness. I have, however, learned how to treat those I love in life thru my Boyfriend who has been alive longer than I -and has shown me what parents who love their children are really like. My Mother's condition has her believe things that are infinities from reality. As a result- after over 7 years of not speaking to me, she contacted my little brother who is still in New Mexico, to send me a letter from her. I have sent her birthday cards and other cards to let her know she is on my mind but she refuses them and has them sent back. That doesn't hurt me anymore but let's me know the mentality of the individual that I am dealing with and how to establish boundaries that are clearly understood. I responded to her letter with a letter of my own. explaining how in order for her and I to have any type of relationship she needs to understand what page I am on. I also sent back the cards I had given her and told her that I would read what she sent me if I received the cards back with an excerpt of her thoughts inside all of them. She then felt insulted accused me of disrespecting her and sent the un opened cards back to me.
I'm telling you a story of my experience not to have your pitty for me and thinking that I have had a hard life ( we All have) but to examplify to you what I meant in the first paragraph when I said, Boundaries should be established in every relationship in life. They should consist of two party tolerations that are agreed upon. If you are feeling out a relationship because it's new, you usually have to get to know someone and wait for something to happen that pushed your un-discussed boundaries.
This rule applies to your parents. A certain treatment should not be tolerated from them. You will always be their son or daughter but you are not a child that needs them like you used to- and they should understand that by respecting you and your household. Of course it applies to siblings and those you will inevitably have a close or professional relationship with. Don't allow yourself to be treated in a way that makes you feel less power instead of empowered. Establish who you are and why you will not tolerate any mistreatment and do it in way that gets the point across while subtracting emotion.

Until next time, you all have a very Safe and Solid week and I will be in touch with very soon!

Tests + Attempted Manipulation + Set Boundaries = Real Control

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