by Julie Michael

Created on: August 27, 2008   Last Updated: July 28, 2009

"Happily Ever After" with your spouse. Marriage is going to be what you and your spouse make of it. You can both CHOOSE to be happy, choose to have the "Happily Ever After", and make your relationship truly magical- or you can become disillusioned by the fact that life and relationships aren't exactly like they're portrayed in movies and books.

Reading Romance novels, watching romantic movies, and day-dreaming of a "Fairy-Tale" relationship or marriage isn't going to help keep your expectations grounded in reality, which will set you up for disappointment and make a "Happily" or even an "Ever After", extremely difficult, if not impossible.

No one, no relationship, is perfect. It's unfair to expect perfection of your spouse and your relationship with him or her. If you don't have realistic expectations, then you'll become quickly disappointed, and then that's when your chances of that "Happily Ever After" will become practically nil.

I know in my own marriage; it's taken my husband and I almost five years of being in our relationship and three years of marriage, to learn to adapt our expectations of ourselves and each other, and our relationship. We spent a long time fighting, fussing, arguing, not truly communicating and taking each other for granted. It took him being deployed, us finally realizing just how much we stood to lose, and learning to compromise, to be able to get on the right track and get started on our "Happily Ever After."

Coming so close to giving up on our relationship and each other was extremely difficult for both of us emotionally, but we finally paid attention to what our hearts knew all along! As a result, we are finally able to communicate, we're both secure in our love for one another, and we know that there is a "Happily Ever After" in store for us.

There were many times, due to unrealistic expectations of marriage and one another, that we were brought to the brink of separation or divorce. By some miracle, we've walked through fire and came out on the other side, strengthened by it. I don't take this as a sign that we were merely "lucky", I take it to mean that we are truly "meant to be", and that "Happily Ever After" does exist- all you have to do is reach out and take it.

"Happily Ever After" in marriage DOES exist, and it is possible to have the Fairy Tale-Like happy ending. "Ever After" is what we promise, when we make those marriage vows. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have that "Fair-Tale Happily Ever After?" It really is possible to have the "Happily Every After", and you can be happy with your spouse until "Death do us part."

Remembering that unrealistic expectations can and will ruin your relationship with your spouse, and remembering to keep expectations realistic and simple, will go a long way toward helping you and your spouse achieve "Happily Ever After."
Being willing to compromise is the biggest part of a good relationship, you have to be willing to GIVE, before you can take. That's what leads us all into "Happily Ever After."

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