by Genevieve Georget

Created on: August 27, 2008

I spent an evening last week with an old friend of mine whom I haven't seen in awhile. As we indulged ourselves in some ice cream and much needed catching up, we crossed paths with an old colleague of hers taking a stroll with her young daughter. We chatted for a couple of minutes and just before parting ways, this woman said to my friend "when am I going to see you out here with a little one? You certainly seem to be late in the game!" As I stood there appalled at what I had just heard, my friend stood there crushed. While she smiled politely and gave the standard answer of "all in due time", I could tell that she was devastated.

My friend and her husband got married about five years ago and for the last three years, they have been trying to start a family of their own. So far, to no avail. With no easy answer to their difficulties, they just keep trying. What started as a fun reason to "practice" quickly turned into charting and temperature taking and one month at a time anxiously waiting to see if they would have to endure it all over again. It hasn't been easy for them and fertility issues aside, one of the biggest challenges has been tolerating people's complete lack of consideration and sensitivity to a situation that frankly, is none of their business.

There seems to come a time in every couple's life when all of the cosmic pieces seem to fall into place and you suddenly wake up one day realizing that everyone around you is expecting an announcement unveiling the expansion of your family. I know because my husband and I are currently in the thick of that storm. We've been married for three years, recently bought a house, went on a big trip and got a pet. In the lottery of life, it appears that we have four out of the five winning numbers, which to the outside world, seems to mean that having children is the next obvious step. And maybe it is (or even surely it is) but, as a couple, it would be nice to be able to make that decision without an entourage of people waiting with baited breath to spit the words out before we do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that loved ones don't have the right to be joyful and optimistic about the prospect of children. In fact, even we have our own small little circle of trusted friends that have always shared in our intentions and with whom we are already grateful for their support, discretion and excitement towards our future, whatever and whenever it may come to be. I can say though, from experience, that there are

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