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the radiator on once again to keep you warm. I did not know why you never turned it on but I always turn it off before I leave to respect your wishes. Usually I'd stand around and watch you sleeping for an hour or two, the silly faces you pulled in your sleep always made me smile, but today had been a busy day so maybe I'd just lay with you for a while; I hope you don't mind. Before laying down I silently ran my screwdriver across my arm once again just below the gauge on my left upper arm; it was excruciating. Such pain in your presence surely shows how much I love you? My heart fluttered rapidly as the cut began to bleed so I softly slid onto the bed next to you and closed my eyes. I moved my hand and found yours cold to the touch; the heater had probably not warmed up yet; in fact the whole room felt unusually cold tonight and it made me shiver slightly. You moved your fingers to entwine with mine as if I was a lover you'd shared your bed with for so long you were comfortable with even in sleep. I used my other hand to move the hair from your face and stroked your forehead gently. You looked so solemn laid there peacefully in slumber far away and dreaming of something more pleasant than the turbulent lives we have to lead. I wanted to watch you all night but I felt so cold so I thought I'd better leave; you looked warm enough under your thick blankets. With one last wish goodnight I knew it was time to leave; I knew deep down that I'd never feel the softness of your hair again or feel the warmth of your skin against mine. As I left you there sleeping that night I can honestly say I have never loved some one so much as I did you but I'm sorry for the way we had to meet. Nobody wants to wake up to a dead stranger by their side laid upon blood soaked bed sheets; no; that will never do.

Learn more about this author, Ryan Bendall.
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