by Swati Nitin Gupta

Created on: August 26, 2008

Although there are various things that can kill a marriage or even the love between spouses, however these are few of the things one must avoid if they want to keep their marriage intact and love growing with each passing year.

Marriage as we all know is a union of not just bodies but a union of heart and soul but this union requires little bit of understanding and lots and lots of patience, and some tolerance levels.

Yes, it's easier said than done but if these points are kept in mind then a marriage can be saved and spouses can enjoy greater intimacy in their alliance. As I said earlier there are various things that can kill a marriage there are certain things that are a sure short murderers of marriage and they are as follows:

1. Sarcasm: It is one of the most effective weapons known to human beings to end any relationship especially as delicate as marriage. Sarcasm makes the other half lose his or her confidence. And once the other person loses confidence in oneself the marriage is doomed to failure. Sarcasm also fosters bitterness in the victim, which can come out in form of withdrawal, chronic depression which will further widen the gap between the spouses thus putting an end to the marriage.

2. Contempt: Nobody is perfect and everybody has something in them which is unique to them. However if you treat your spouse with contempt, look down upon them and show them that you don't relish their presence in your life then a marriage can not survive. No matter what is troubling you or whosoever is troubling you don't let your contempt for that person come in between you and your spouse. Your husband or wife will not understand that the contempt they see in your eyes is not directed towards them. Everybody wants to be loved and liked there may be something in you which can be irritating to your wife or husband but that does not mean that you look at them with sheer hatred in your eyes. Or mock them at every instance.

3. Stonewalling: Stonewalling as defined by marriage counsellors as when a spouse is stonewalling in communication they are

a) Usually using a delaying or stalling tactics. For example they will try to delay arguments, or even try to delay whatever they have been asked to do.

b) Refusing to answer questions; for example if one of the spouse is trying to ask something and the other refuses to even acknowledge the presence of other person then the spouse who refuses to answer is creating a wall around himself or herself which no one can cross.

c) If a spouse

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