No one likes to be labeled, especially children. They like to just be themselves. They do not want to stand out among their peers they want to belong with their peers. School is already a hard place to be yourself. There are many expectations put on a child as they attend school. Parents, teachers, friends and family all wreak havoc on our children to be the best they can be. Maybe they are taking longer to learn to read. Perhaps they just can't get that math problem. That is obviously quite normal and as such why we have schools and teachers.
What about the child who finishes her assignments before the others in her class and has nothing to do? What about the child who is not allowed to sign a book out from the school library that isn't in her grade level? What about the special attention the gifted child in a classroom full of kids receives? That is what this article is about. The struggles that gifted students must contend with, before and after the gifted student designation.
When my daughter and I attended the parent, teacher and child orientation for her senior kindergarten year, her teacher asked her her name and to write it down. My daughter did indeed write her name on that piece of paper but not her given name. The teacher, a little confused looked over her registration papers and asked her why she wrote what she did. My daughter's response was that her name was a boy's name and the name she wrote is what she wants to be called. She also added that everybody already calls her by this shortened name and how she spelled it is how she would like it spelt. Keep in mind that she is only 5 years old. The orientation continued and my child's teacher was shocked that she could already read and understand the little books that they are required to read at her grade level. That year my daughter became a teacher's helper. She thrived in her play environment as that is how senior kindergarten is taught. In grade one after reading Charlotte's Web in no time flat, I asked her teacher to allow my daughter to choose chapter books from the school library and was turned down. Every year until her gifted designation in grade 4 I had to repeat this request and was repeatedly turned down. I didn't let up though and they eventually every year allowed her to do so but mostly during the final semester of school. The other problem was the number of books she was allowed to take out in a two week period. Two or three books just weren't enough. She was and still is a voracious reader. She reads quickly and understands just about every word written and if not she asks or looks it up.
One problem she encountered in primary school was the attention the teachers gave her. She was paraded around the school so she could display her talents. Her teachers were proud and took the credit for her accomplishments. She was also treated as "the teachers pet". This caused her problems with her fellow students and as children often do they ostracized her. No one wanted to play with smarty pants on the playground. She was at the head of her class and without even trying. She was also bored. It didn't help to give her extra work to complete. She would finish it as well and still be bored. She simply needed more of a challenge. Teachers must follow the curriculum and many do not know what to do for these children at the lower grade levels. To alleviate some of the embarrassment she was suffering as being teacher's pet I had to request that she not be treated differently than the other children in regards to showcasing her.
In grade four in Ontario, Canada there is testing administered to all students in that grade to weed out children with special needs. Weather it be for learning disabilities or for gifted status. After part one was finished I was contacted by the school and asked if they could do further testing because she scored very high in all areas. After all was said and done she was designated as gifted. There were thankfully a few options for my daughter to explore. As we lived in a large city in the south of Ontario her options included attending school in a classroom with others who were gifted. She received an IEP and an IPRC that would be reviewed every year. We decided that being in a classroom that catered to her needs was a great opportunity. Also having peers that were also gifted would hopefully help her to make some friends. She thrived in this setting and enjoyed school again. Unfortunately we were moving to a smaller city in eastern Ontario and their school board didn't accommodate such children and she had to re-enter a regular classroom.
Moving to anew place and a new school didn't sit well with my daughter. She didn't want anyone to know that she was gifted or smart or different. She wanted to make friends not be treated like a pariah. Therefore she decided to try and dumb it down. She was successful in making friends and was actually quite popular. Her attempts to dumb it down didn't really work though. She was still very much in advance of mostly all the other children and she was bored to tears. She wanted to lose the status though so she didn't complete her homework and her grades for the first time in her life were quite low. Instead of being a model student she decided to start causing and being part of troublemaking.
She felt so much pressure and when it came to math and she didn't get it on the first try she thought she must be stupid. She figured that she must just quite simply know the answer! Because she didn't she wanted no longer to be gifted. Her expectations were too high for herself and she was confused about life in general as we all are at that age.
The following year she had a great teacher. He had a Master degree in English and was able to connect with my daughter. He tried giving her more challenging work to do and offered many extra assignments to keep her brain juices flowing. She was starting to realize that she could be smart and have friends and attend a regular class and not be bored stiff. Once again though I upset the apple cart and we moved at the beginning of the last semester of school. She was angry and again decided to dumb it down so to speak. She did not participate in group assignments because no one took any of her suggestions seriously and reverted to doing them on her own again. In English class she refused to read a book that was just too boring and too much below her aptitude. We tried talking to her teachers but none were accommodating. They said there were no resources for her and she would only be graded on the set curriculum. Being bored only made her upset and defiant. She barely passed all of her subjects and I did not berate her. She knows what she is capable of and so do her teachers. She has also clashed with many teachers as the years have gone by because sometimes she is just too intelligent for their liking.
She is entering her final year before high school and despite her barely passing marks has been offered the chance to take 2 grade 9 courses with the parent high school. I believe she is ready now to be all that she can be and realizes that it is alright to be who she is. She has struggled with peers and teachers for a long time and she cannot change the mind she was given.
When there was no stimulation for her in the classroom I provided what I could to keep her mind alive. It is a struggle in a regular classroom for our gifted children. But if we can keep them in school as they mature into adults they will do great things! We as parents must simply do all that we can to support them and not put any more pressure on them than they already feel. After all they are still children, very intelligent children but still just children.