by Cyndi Li

Created on: August 25, 2008

Single moms are in a class all by themselves. Everything associated with home life is their responsibility. Basically, a single mom is mother, father, teacher, entertainer, healer, moral compass, cook, housekeeper, chauffer and accountant. If you're a single mom and you're thinking about trying to fit a little dating into your already full schedule here's some advice; from one single mom to another.

Your children may have some reservations about sharing you with someone else. They've gotten use to you tending to their needs, turning around and always finding you there, and spending time with them. Having to suddenly rely on a sitter, lose time with you or go to bed without that good-night-mommy-kiss may cause your child to act out in objection. Be sure to talk with your child/ren and reassure them you're not abandoning them, and they are still your number one priority.

If your child has some hidden desires for you and their father to reunite you may find that dating just isn't worth the heartache or disappointment your child may experience. I'm not advocating living a life of solitude until your child is grown; children should certainly not dictate to you whether it's ok for you to date or not. I only mean that you may be faced with some real struggles with your child, and it's important to make sure that dating now is the right thing to do or if waiting a bit longer is better.

Be prepared to cancel your plans. As a caregiver you know how suddenly injury or illness can strike. When I first started dating I remember being so excited at the thought of getting away from it all for awhile. I also remember how let down I was the first few times I had to cancel my date because one of the kids had fallen ill. For most of us, tomorrow will come; which means there'll be another opportunity to go on that date.

It's easy to get caught up in the newness of dating and neglect some of your responsibilities. For so long you've put your kid's desires and needs before your own. When you start dating it can be almost as addicting as a drug that makes you feel great. It may be hard to say no to going out on a school night, when the homework isn't done, dinner hasn't been served yet and there are still baths to be taken. But, neglecting what needs tending too will catch up with you sooner than later.

Your child/ren may experience some uncertainty when you first start dating; it's natural. Reassure them you're not going anywhere, and you're still going to be there for them. Let them talk about whatever is bothering them about you dating and help them to work through it.

More important than anything else, be sure to find out as much about the man your dating as possible, and don't allow him to be around your child until you are certain he is a safe and responsible person. Follow your instincts if something looks out of place or just doesn't feel right; more times than not a woman's intuition is her best guide through life.

Dating as a single mom may be just the thing you need to help you feel like you again rather than mom, dad or the guiding light of your child's world. Just take your time, be smart about it, and don't settle for the first man that comes along. It's rare to catch a keeper the first time you go fishing.

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