by Ruth Greb

Created on: August 25, 2008   Last Updated: November 05, 2008

I was divorced twice-once at age 35 and once at age 55. Many things changed between dating again at 35 and dating again at 55 both good and bad. At 35, I did not have weight gains to worry about nor, did I have aches and pains since I was still young and agile. My dating again at that age was primarily with people who liked to hike and be out doors and I did not worry about keeping up with them on a mountain side. The downside of that age and dating again was that I had 3 teenagers who I was responsible for and no one, in their right mind, would want to take that on! It was fun to date at that age since I still had my youth and could be out in the evening longer, but there was always the worry about what the 3 teenagers were doing. They were good kids but there was always the fear that they might get in trouble with Mom gone on Saturday nights.

Now, way past 50 and dating again, with the same desires for being out doors, hiking, fishing and so on but with aches and pains, a weight gain and all that goes with being older, has brought me to a new place in life. The advantage now, is that the kids are grown and gone on with their lives and although there are still times when Mom has to be involved, the kids are also adults and responsible for their choices in life. I only need to be there for support emotionally but not financially.

Yes, the physical capabilities have changed a bit since that 35 year old dater but the maturity since then has made a difference in how life is looked at and the choices made. I met Dave on the ferry commuting back and forth from the areas we lived to Seattle to work. We both loved the out doors and both belonged to the Seattle Mountaineers at the time. We both liked hiking, biking, fishing and wild life. It was a relationship that is perfect. We have been dating for 12 years and eventually plan to marry but now have our moments of needing space from even each other since we both own our own homes and have upkeep to do on both. There are home projects we work together on and some we can only do on our own, but, we still find time for an occasional hike in the Olympic Mountains or an occasional trip to the beach to fish for a salmon. The main thing is, we are satisfied with our place in life at this moment, enjoy being together and enjoy being apart to get the things done which we need to do alone.

The best part is two lonely people have found each other to share their lives even if not married. Finding someone compatible with you means you have to open up with your views and let a friend know what you need to compliment your life but also to be flexible enough to not demand your way since, when you get older, two parties can have pretty set rules on who they are and what they want. A relationship between two people from Day 1 is always give and take but, as you get older, maturity brings in the ability to give more and take less.

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