by Ben Washington

Created on: August 24, 2008   Last Updated: November 18, 2008

I snub my nose at your swill.

I'm the guy that shows up to your keg party with a few six packs of beers you've never heard of. I don't bring them for when the kegs are tapped dry; in fact it's likely that I'll be drinking them before you're half finished with the first. I bring them because you probably have Budweiser or Miller or some other random macro brew on tap and I have no intention on putting it anywhere near my mouth. Let's be honest, you probably don't even know what a macro brew is. Hahaha, look at you, not even knowing that what you have on tap is called a macro brew. I have to leave the party? What? Why? Fine, I didn't want to drink your terrible beer anyway!

I've been called a snob when it comes to my beer consumption. Actually, being called a beer snob has been a fairly regular occurrence in my social life. I'm okay with that, though; I can accept that my high standards of beer consumption can result in a label such as snobbery.

The thing is, there's just too much beer of quality out there for me to drink the American standard. There's too much out there for you to drink it too. Take a risk, drop a few extra dollars; try something new. It's worth it, believe me it's worth it.

But where do you start? You don't want to just dive into the finer beers and grab something you won't like. You probably want to start out with something similar to what you're drinking now; baby steps and all that.

Well, what are you drinking now?

If it's Budweiser, Miller, Pabst, Coors, Rolling Rock, or the like; you're drinking a "pale lager". Look for the words "pale" and "lager" on the label. Golden lagers and amber lagers aren't too far off the mark either. Moosehead, St Pauli's Girl, and Lowenbrau are two affordable and commonly available lagers that are a step in the right direction.

If you're drinking Killian's Irish Red, you'll want to look into darker lagers. When you search for "dark lager's", however; you're going to be introduced to beers that are much darker than you're expecting. Because of this, I'm going to suggest that you try some Vienna lagers. These are dark lagers whose style of brewing originated in Vienna, Austria and seem to be a bit more mellow than the other darks. Try some Elliot Ness from the Great Lakes brewery (if it's available in your area), Negra Modello & Bohemia from Mexico, or Leinenkugel's Red.

If you think you've got my system licked because you're drinking Blue Moon, check out some other wheat beers (and you'll never want to pick up a Blue Moon again). Franziskaner, Paulaner, and Weihenstephaner are great places to start; Weihenstephaner actually boasts the claim of "oldest brewery in the world" having been established in 1040 A.D., while Franziskaner has only been around since 1363. While the wheat beers listed above should compliment your tastes if you liek Blue Moon, the beer is technically considered to be "witbier", a Blegian style white ale. Other beers that fall into this same classification that are more than worth your time are Hoegaarden and Alagash White Ale.

If you're drinking a chick drink and calling it a beer because it says it's one on the label, I'm afraid I can't help you. I'd be surprised if anyone could, really.

If you're truly content with the beer your drinking and have never longed for anything more, so be it. Who am I to tell you what you should and should not drink? I am merely making suggestions. If that is your stance, however; at the very least stop giving me dirty looks when I walk in with my own bottles to your keg party.

Cheers.

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