by Cynthia Harlan

Created on: August 24, 2008   Last Updated: November 01, 2008

You are 50 plus years old and either because your husband predeceased you or your relationship ended; you find yourself back in the dating game. You may wonder if you are too old to seek the companionship of a man. You might worry that you aren't attractive anymore. You are unsure of just how this is suppose to go now that you are no longer the sweet, innocent virgin that you were when you first got married. What are the rules for a 50+ woman who is looking for someone of the opposite sex; have they changed much since you were in high school or college? Don't you have to worry about contracting STD's more now? This whirlpool of doubt and fear can turn you into a lonely senior citizen; or, you can set your fears aside and decide that you are ready to re-enter the dating world. But, where would you begin? How do you start dating again after all this time?

Here is a little how to guide for dating in your golden years:

Finding a man - It might not seem as easy to find a man as it once was; but, there are options out there. First, start with your church or any other association that you may belong to. They may sponsor gatherings for people your age. These are great places to meet men and at least you will have one thing in common.

Your friends and relatives might be helpful to you in your search for companionship. They may know someone that is just perfect for you.

There dating services specifically geared to the senior set. You might want to try one out.
Most of them screen their clients.

The internet may be another option but you must exercise great care if you seek a man through this channel. Anyone can hide behind an electronic wall and say anything they want to in order to gain access to you or your possessions. If you do decide to arrange a date this way, you might want to first run his information through a Google search to check for a criminal history. Until you get to know him and trust him, only meet with him in public places. For your first date, you might even want to take a friend along. She or he can discreetly sit somewhere and just keep an eye on you for safety's sake.

Rules of Dating You may not be able to claim that you are still a young innocent virgin, but you do have the right to set up a set of standards that you date by. You don't have to have sex before you are ready. You still have the right to respect. If you do decide to take that step in your relationship, you should always insist that the man wear protection even if you have gone through menopause and don't have to worry about an unplanned pregnancy. It is surprising to discover that the senior citizen sector of the population is at a high risk of certain STD's including HIV and aids. You always want to protect yourself, at least as best as you can, from contracting these illnesses.

Companionship or Marriage What is your goal when you start to date again? Are you just looking for companionship and an occasional roll in the hay? Do you want to get married again? These are important questions. They can help you determine just where you want to be headed when you start dating again. You will want to be sure to choose a man that shares your same position; it will save you a lot of heartache in the end.

Dating, whether you are 16 or 60 can be a scary thing. Whenever you seek companionship of another, you put yourself on the line. However, the search can be well worth the risk if you find the right one. Don't be afraid to jump into the dating game; just be careful when you do.

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