by Doug Burrell

Created on: August 24, 2008

Derek, The Christmas Gorilla

Now, gather 'round and you all will hear
A classic tale of Christmas cheer.
You won't believe what I have to say
About a gorilla and Christmas day.

Not long ago, does our story start
About an ape without a heart.
His name was Derek and he was scary.
Bald on top, but his body was hairy.

He was never happy nor did he smile
Except at things that were gross and vile.

And though he didn't need a reason
He was always meaner at Christmas season.

He hated Christmas and toys and snow
He hated the trees and mistletoe.
He hated the carollers who sang so sweet
But he loved to throw rocks at their feet.

A meaner ape, you could not find
Especially at the Christmas time.
Even at work, on Christmas Eve
He wouldn't let his employees leave.

A gorilla Scrooge, he was indeed.
Full of hatred, spite and greed.
He made folks work on the holiday
Without a hint of bonus pay.

But then that night it all would change
With something that was very strange.
The folks at work decided to quit
And left poor Derek to finish it.

He tried to tell them not to leave
But they walked out that Christmas Eve.
They called him names and laughed at him.
They said they'd never come back again.

So at his job he stood alone
While everyone else was happy at home.
He started to cry for the very first time.
And then he heard a sleigh bell chime.

It was in the distance but he could hear it
And he began to get the Christmas spirit.
"Merry Christmas" he said to himself
Then at the door he saw an elf.

And then a reindeer and Santa too
Who said, "These toys are all for you."
He smiled at Derek and then he said
"I brought some hair for your bald head."

"Ho, ho, ho" echoed off the walls
Then off went jolly Santa Claus.
Derek stood there with his new head of hair
And a dozen bananas and underwear.

Derek was happy for once in his life
As he played with his brand new pocket knife.
"I've been so bad to all my friends
And now it's time to make amends."

"Never again will I be mean!"
And then he heard somebody scream.
He ran outside in the snowy night
And couldn't believe the awful sight.

A gang of apes had gathered 'round
And threw poor Santa to the ground.
They grabbed his sack from his sleigh
And tried their best to get away.

But Derek stopped them in their tracks
And made them give it all right back.
Then he looked at Santa, so pure and sweet
And helped him back up to his feet.

Then Santa said, "I owe you one.
How would you like to have some fun?
This world is meaner than it used to be
And I'd like for you to ride with me."

"I need protection when I'm on my sleigh
So will you come with me to stay?"
Derek smiled, then he said "Alright
I'll ride with you this special night."

And so on every Christmas Eve
When Santa packs his sleigh to leave.
He has no fears or worries now
"Cause Derek comes with him to town.

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