by David Duncan

Created on: August 23, 2008

"To Have and To Hold, Till Death Do You Part." This common phrase found in a set of traditional wedding vows speaks clearly to the solemn promise, given to all present, to give one's whole heart to another. A lasting love begins with a strong bond of friendship. Like a promise of lasting friendship, a promise of lasting love means devotion. Now, it doesn't mean that you won't ever be attracted to another. It is foolish to think that through the span of your life you won't ever be attracted to someone else who perks your interest. What it does mean that you will honor your vow regardless of whether you are tempted or not.

Giving one's whole devotion to another takes time. My wife and me will be married thirteen years, this December. We are deep in love with a bond that has been forged through easy and tough times. If you are lucky enough to build a bond with someone you love as long or longer that my wife and me, then I don't need to tell how important it is not to break that bond. As each year passes, the emotional investment grows. As for us, we would have never made it this far in our relationship without an ongoing commitment to give wholly and freely to each other.

It is risky opening up and giving one's whole heart to another. Yet, there is so much to be gain by allowing another to enrich your life, build on it, making you a more complete and unique person. From time to time, I think back to the person I was before meeting my wife. Now, years later, I can hardly remember the person I was before meeting her. I do know I am a much stronger, outgoing person than before. I look at life with much more passion and perception, something that my wife says was always inside me. Only, it took her to help me bring it out. So, the price for giving my whole heart to my wife has been well worth it. For her, she trusts I have given all my devotion and, in turn, is willing to learn from me as well.

A bond between two people never grows by sharing in a half-hearted fashion. In a world that moves quickly and with incredible uncertainty, none of us have time to invest half-way in anything, especially relationships. One-sided relationships are, at best, fleeting. At worst, one-side relationships can be very dangerous, causing lasting hurt and pain. The only thing worst than a one-sided relationship is one that is healthy, giving coming in equal amount from both, suddenly turning one-sided. When the equal giving stops, the sharing and growing stop as well.

We are all looking for relationships we can trust will last and this is why it is so important to give our whole heart.

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