by J. Renda

Created on: August 23, 2008

To the generation of the 70's and beyond, chivalry has died. I could almost say is started dying toward the beginnings of the 60's. Chivalry is beyond just the opening of a door for a female but correct and courteous behavior. Chivalry is now only expected at a high end restaurant or refined family occasions. We cannot blame men for the death of chivalry.

In turn, we should correctly point our hands to society, fathers and mothers of our predecessors. It is without biased that I place it on them, but the facts of the less taught manners and courteous practices that have died through the passing generations.

Has anyone of the so called 'x' generation taught their sons to pull out the chair for their date, open the car doors, open the door at the home and let the woman walk in first? Perhaps not. We have yet to truly perfect the idea that a man should not hit a woman. There are countless women each year that can recall a battery incident by a spouse or partner.

Society has accepted lower standards in an effort to accentuate the 'coolness' of it. Society has accepted and promoted lower standards through changes in both economics and lifestyles. It used to be considered taboo to expect to sleep with a dating partner early on in the relationship, to now, some partners expect it.

We have killed chivalry ourselves and cannot blame others for their lack there of. We have accepted and neglect it and it has dwindled out of society's eyes. Chivalry used to be expected from the aristocrats and now that our 'new' aristocrats are the modern day celebrities they basically do whatever they want. There are many famed incidences of a celebrity hitting or shoving a photographer, or swearing at a waiter or waitress. It is not considered strange behavior at all. It is the social norm for those of high society.

Chivalry is more than the actions at a dinner table. It is the expected courtesy of a man to work and provide for his family as well. Many men do not live with their children and drink with their girlfriends late at night while the mother works to pay for daipers, clothing, and the needs to live and raise the children.

It is becoming more common for young women to leave their children with their mother and be raised by the grandmother while they try to party and make up for their lost years. The entire thing is tragic. Chivalry is dead. In the 1950's you would not find a man refusing to hold a job so that he could collect welfare and refuse child support. You would not hear about a woman acting loose and dumping her children on her mother. It was considered a public embarassment and if it ever did occur no one would discuss it due to shame. Men may have drank in the same social ways they do now, alcoholic women existed as well as drug addicted parents. Yet, in the same era you would not have tolerated men hitting women or children being neglected. Chivalry is now dead. In a world of our creation, we cannot complain about the beds we lay in. We made it that way.

If less people rolled over and accepted poor behavior, than less poor behavior would be exhibited. You cannot change the world nor stop anyone. I once was given a dirty look by a man as I held the door open for him to enter a store. I have had a worse look by a woman when I thanked her for holding it open for me on a separate occasion. I almost stopped going into that particular store. I felt like I was rude for wasting a few moments of their time to be polite. Apparently the world doesn't like polite, at least not in New York.

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