by Helen Blackmore

Created on: August 23, 2008

I see your lips, drawn in that thin, grim line of disapproval,

the result of yet another of my failures in your eyes.

You saw the hints of weakness long ago, yet stayed.

My shame fills my soul, and colors my days black.

My despair turns to rage at myself, I withdraw in grief.

Your honesty and loyalty shine above my deceit.

Crying silently, I want to know why I can't be like you.

What drives me to insanity, when I know you love me.

I look to strangers for a touch, to fill that void.

Why do I hunger for approval, adoration, attention.

Soon they are banished, for not being you.

And I try again, to not stray from your side.

It's pure evil, the way I use them up, and discard them with ease.

They can never win me, they are doomed from the start.

That feeling of power when I enchant them, I feed on it.

But like a fish on a hook, once caught, they are released.

Their look of surprise amuses me, I fiercely blame them.

So convincing I am, that they have broken my heart.

But it was never theirs, and I am finished with them.

They sadly leave, never knowing they were just part of my game.

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