by Michael Rupp

Created on: August 23, 2008

I have some experience with this issue. I am 55. My wife is 53. We have adopted four children from Guatemala. I was forty-nine when we first adopted. (Incidentally, we already had six biologic children before we began adopting.)

As you might infer, I believe that people over fifty should be allowed to adopt. There are positive aspects. Older adopting parents may already have parenting experience. I know I was an inexperienced dad a long time ago. When we visited Guatemala to spend time with our adopted children to be, it still surprised me how difficult it was for newly adopting parents at the hotel to know how to respond to a baby's needs. Meeting children's needs, and setting limits, changes as children age. It helps to have been there before.

Older adopting parents may well be more financially secure. When I was young, and with a bunch of kids already, some weeks the paycheck didn't quite make it. Now, we are much better able to provide, and we have experience with long term planning for the children's financial needs, including college.

As an older parent, I have more appreciation that each child is an individual. Each of my children has a different personality, different gifts, and different potentials. I know, from experience, that what I want and what they want won't always match. I try to keep them from making bad choices. They have to decide what are realistic goals, and dreams, as they grow and step out into life.

Are there disadvantages to being older with adopted children? Sure. I don't have the stamina I once had. That doesn't keep us from having a good time, but I don't see myself playing basketball with my adopted children when they are teenagers. It might be hard on an older adopting parent with no parenting experience. Not impossible, but requiring flexibility. There is always the reality that older adopting parents will be elderly while their adopted children are still young adults. This may place a burden on the adopted children. Older adopting parents should try to plan accordingly. Good financial preparation can go a long way.

There is one other issue, perhaps the most pressing of all. There is no shortage of children needing homes. While there may not be an over abundance of healthy babies waiting for placement in the United States, this is not the case in many countries. Older adopting parents may be the best chance for these children. Perhaps, in a perfect world, it would be better to place these children with young parents in their own countries. Unfortunately, a perfect world is not an option. It is most certainly better to have children adopted into a loving financially stable family in another country than to be raised in an orphanage, or worse, to live on the streets in poverty. For this reason, if for no other, older parents should be allowed to adopt.

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