by Valerie Preston

Created on: August 22, 2008   Last Updated: February 15, 2012

Becoming single again at 50 changed me completely. Now, 11 years later, I look back and I am delighted at who I've become. I can see the fears, hurdles and the triumphs I overcame over the years while trying to like my aging self and date again, as a "senior single". It made a New Woman of me.

Yep, and you probably feel like I did then about now. Your youth is suddenly gone, as if it were sucked away in one fell swoop. You can be called a senior now, even though you feel like you are 30-something. Your face and body are changing for the worse. Many self-critical thoughts are going through your mind. And, you still want the man of your dreams to come along. But not only are you feeling unattractive, you are scared and unsure of how to even go about dating again. However, you may be in for a new journey in life that you'll someday look back on with a smile.

From experience, I can give you some guidelines to prepare yourself for the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to dating after 50.

1. Figure out exactly what you want and do not settle for anything less.

2. Look at all of your options for meeting men. Tell all of your friends and anyone you frequently talk with in the community that you are interested in dating.

3. Increase your feelings of self worth by doing things to better yourself and to make yourself feel special, because you are. Remember your good points and straighten that back. You are Woman!

4. Don't allow yourself to give meeting someone the number one priority in your life.

Now lets turn to the Internet as a source. It can be very safe as long as you follow some guidelines. Meet him in public and tell someone where you are going. Never give out personal information. Follow these rules as well as your instincts. Used in this way, the Internet has, in my opinion, become the greatest tool of our time for dating, offering a plethora of opportunities.

You will want to find dating sites where there are a lot of men your age. A web search for such terms as senior singles, senior personals, and senior dating will lead you to these sites. If you decide to post a profile, don't be afraid to post a photo unless you have a good reason for not doing so. Men want to see who you are, and often search for only profiles that have photos. Additionally, your photo needs to look like you do right now. That is one of the biggest complaints I have heard from men. They meet lots of women who have misrepresented themselves. Don't do it. It will get you nowhere.

Once you decide to meet him, no matter how that has come about, talk on the phone first. Find out where you will meet and keep it casual. Tell him, and stick to this, that this will be a short meeting. Think about it afterwards and perhaps meet him again for a longer date, or not, it is all up to you.

By the way, one thing you learn later in life that you "wished you knew then" is this: All men want sex, sooner than later, and the harder you are to get the more valuable you become in his eyes. All of the old "rules" really do apply. Read! I suggest any books by Dr. John Gray, as he offers invaluable insight into men and women both. There are many others great books to read. Be aware of what your experiences have taught you and learn all you can to further educate yourself.

OK, now you are better armed for the fray. Try not to make too big a deal of it. Over the past 10 years I, and many women like me, have been on oodles of dates. Never forget your list, and you will know if you want to continue seeing him or not. Most of all, relish this stage in your life, embrace the lovely New Woman that you are, and have fun!

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