by Grant Van Wingerden

Created on: August 22, 2008

While it's true that desperation can produce extraordinary results - "More arse than class" as they say in the Aussie vernacular - it is not to be relied on in all circumstances. If you are going to act in desperation, be sure you are firm and fleet of foot as tripping over yourself won't help in overcoming the cause of your desperation.

Neither is a state of desperation good for social events. Desperate to get that first peck on the cheek can cause one to miss it. Thus is the paradox of tentative relationship desperation: the more earnestly you desire something from someone, the more likely you are to spook them off. The moist beads of sweat, the nervous google-eyed stare. These are hardly a good look.

Too desperate to make a good impression and you miss what others are saying, you don't attend to the vibe of the party, and everyone thinks you're more of a goose than if you went with the flow.

Of course desperation, by its nature, cannot be controlled. It can be subdued or distracted but, until you notice its wild face staring at you in a passing shop window, you're in it for the count.

What if your desperation lands you in trouble with the law? Incoherent babbling, as understandable as it is when your behaviour has caught the attention of the constabulary, is largely frowned on and too easily confused with inebriation of some sort. Almost guarantees a night in the pokey.

Ever posted bail on a dude whose main character defect is a tendency to fret? And what are they to think? He's getting more agitated the longer we make beetle-browed stern faces at him!

So there's that to think about.

Desperation to be successful can go either way: give you the desire to launch into something and sometimes that's all it needs. But not always and the faltering huckster is easily spotted: the rubbing of the hands, the overeager grin. There's probably a school for masking desperation, so useful a skill for those of us not blessed with zen

The payoff of going through the desperate stage of running to make an appointment is that breathless relief you feel when you plop into your seat and gather your thoughts. The non-desperate can not know this feeling whereas the desperate of many fields can identify. The invitation back for coffee, however well things go makes you suddenly feel that the angsty feeling in your chest was worth it. Every now and then uncontrolled fervour can have miraculous results, so no government study has seen fit to ban desperation. Besides, it's not in their best interests to do so. Where would our local members be without their desperation.

I'm sure there are some sociologists who would go as far as to say that a little desperation is good for all for us. I don't know what lengths they'd go to persuade us of this though. Perhaps if they were desperate enough.

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