by Annette Radford

Created on: August 22, 2008

I am the mother of four boys - two of them have separate levels of disability which cause cruel and thoughtless individuals to refer to them as "retarded". The older one is not intellectually handicapped but has cerebral palsy, and is also called a "retard" by many who should know better. Yes their disabilities are obvious, but those who disparage them have their own, less obvious, disabilities.

Don't be surprised if those individuals who refer to my sons as retarded also call those of different races and ages similar rude names. They are the types who need to classify everyone else as belonging to a group, and preferably one that doesn't challenge their own shaky self-esteem. Therefore these people not only put down the disabled, but people of different races and ages, maybe even the opposite sex as well, just to make themselves feel better. They miss out on relationships that might make them better human beings just because someone looks different. I pity them.

One of my "retarded" sons has gifts and abilities with small children and animals. He is a Christian youth group leader, a very gentle man with an amazing depth of compassion and understanding of others. He is also a giant, at over seven feet tall, and drives a car. One minister, who had not known him long, put him down on the basis of his disability. Coming from a so-called man of God that really hurt him. One lady I know, who gets around quite well on wheels, wears a badge that states proudly, "Don't dis my ability," which is my point exactly. These most severely handicapped individuals (the racist, ageist, sexist and emotionally challenged) are found at all levels in society.

If you fear that you might be one of these types, I would suggest that you spend some time with someone who has a disability. Try concentrating on their abilities, which usually far outnumber the things they cannot do. Help them to learn a new skill, or visit a place that might otherwise be beyond their reach. Their enjoyment is a reward beyond measure. You could try the Special Olympics Movement, or your local Special Education facility or Day Care where you can meet these very special human beings.

I have been privileged to be the mother of these wonderful boys, and yes, at times it has been trying. Which parent has not had those moments when the behavior of some off-spring has really tried your patience? Often the thoughtless cruelty of others makes parenting our special children that much harder. Our children did not ask to be disabled, and they certainly don't deserve to be labeled.

Learn more about this author, Annette Radford.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.