by Marilyn Knowles Wilke

Created on: August 21, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

We met on the Internet under very unusual circumstances. I was dealing with a stalker who was, or so it seemed, able to control my life, but do it without consequences. I was desperately trying to find someone who would or could help me, but afraid to tell too many people because of his threats. This young man seemed interested in ever aspect of my life. He sent me an instant message, which I cautiously accepted. I think I was so desperate to have someone to talk to, I did not hesitate as much as I normally would have. The first thing he said on his instant message was "Hi, my name is Kurt, can we just talk?" He made it clear right away that he was not some dirty-talking character. He just wanted someone to talk to.

Right away, we hit it off. He was kind and gentle and very interesting to talk to. We had so much in common that it felt like we had known each other forever. I did not tell him my problems right away, but I felt from the beginning that I could trust him. I usually approached all strangers with caution, but this man made me feel safe and safe was something I had not felt for a long time. We would make our own private room and just talk. I would share my poetry with him and he loved it. My poetry was the reason the subject of my stalker came up. It showed I was suffering some kind of abuse. He began to ask me questions about why I was writing about abuse. Never did I suspect that he had an idea of what I was going through. I sure did not know that he knew my situation already.

I had felt so alone even though I had six children at home. This stalker had raped me and beaten me so badly that I was sometimes afraid to sleep at night. I became afraid to go anywhere alone. I began telling my friend, Kurt. He seemed so concerned and I could sense his anger as I typed. He wanted to talk to me on the phone. He said he needed to hear my voice and make sure I was safe. I finally agreed to let him call me. When I picked up the phone, his voice was exactly as I imagined. He had a deep, masculine voice, but a gentleness that sounded through his manliness. When he spoke, it was obvious that he wanted to help me. This was when I found out he was a Federal Police Officer. The problem was, so was my stalker. This is when I wondered if I had fallen into this man's spell. One side of me wanted to hang up, but there was something about him that made me doubt he was the same man.

A few nights later, two men showed up at my doorstep. It was very late, about two in the morning.

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