by Mona Pellerin

Created on: August 21, 2008

Online dating has many benefits such as easy access to conversations, ability to acquire personal information before meeting and profile information before making selections. The main problem arises from personal needs which can take on an addictive quality that usurps much of your time without always rendering positive results.

Just as face-to-face dating, the excitement of getting a response from someone you have selected draws you to the computer to view responses on a daily basis and sometimes even more often throughout the day or night. When responses are not there, tension develops as you are not sure if you have said something wrong or if he/she has met someone else more interesting. You may never know why the responses ended and the rejection fuels self-examination and more time spent with attempts to satisfy a positive outcome. Another time-consuming factor involves communicating with several possibilities at the same time. Unlike real life dating, the virtual world provides a "cloak of secrecy" for involvement in several relationships at one time. Here again, the final selection for a date or an exclusive relationship may not turn out to be mutual and the heartbreak is very real.

Online dating has one advantage from real life dating in that participants disclose their agendas. Some are looking for a marriage partner and others for casual dating. It is best to stay in the category which best fits your own agenda, otherwise you may set yourself up for disappointment. There are, however, signs to look for during the interacting process that reveal true interest: Will ask to talk on phone or Instant Messaging for more open communication; Will ask for a meeting. If neither of these two events occur after prolonged contact, the interest is insufficient or there may be some other agenda involved.

Virtual dating can promote fantasy and there are certain indicators that provide for "reality checks". If communication has quick reponses that involve sexual content, beware. This person may only be looking for "fantasies" and not concerned about building a relationship. It is best to block this person immediately if this is not your interest. The fantasy possibilities of online dating are very real and can occur between both parties. Some of the interaction can be based in ego-building more than finding a mate. One more serious warning. Never give your address and never meet except in a public place. It is also wise to tell someone else about the meeting.

With these things in mind, online dating is a great source of expanding friendships and possibilities for finding a mate. Despite the enormous possibilities, the perfect fit still has many similarities to real life dating. The magic still relies on face-to-face interaction and your real world should not take a back-seat to this virtual world, but be guided by reason and some amount of doubt.

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