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Ode To Losing Weight

I look in the mirror
And what do I see?
A strange woman who
Looks a little like me.

I guess I really shouldn't
Be all that surprised,
Between old age and desserts
I have cottage cheese thighs.

Remembering back when
I was svelte and thin,
Wearing scanty clothing
That were fashionably in.

Yes, my once hour glass figure
Is now in dire distress.
All the sand has reached the bottom,

I can no longer wear that size four dress!

Now as I struggle
To put on my jeans,
To fit in my clothing
Is going to take other means.

First, a visit to the doctor's
Is something strongly advised.
But can her scale handle
Someone my size?

I know she will tell me,
I must count calories and exercise.
Which means I'll have to eat
Foods I totally despise.

Time to go down to the gym,
Do the Life Cycle and the Nordic Track.
I'll even give the rowing machine a go,
But once I row out, how will I get back?

I'll go out with a friend
On a long power walk,
But, with all this puffing and panting,
I won't be able to talk.

A diet is on my mind while doing Pilates,
(While going through unimaginable contortions)
How in the world can I survive,
By eating cheesecake in smaller portions?

I'll be chewing on carrots and celery stalks,
Me eating salads is going to be amazing.
Still, I will have to ponder and wonder,
Won't I look like an old cow grazing?

I know it may take months,
And maybe even a year,
But life will be wonderful,
Without this big rear.

Learn more about this author, Dorothy Baum.
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