by Barbi

Created on: August 21, 2008

My daughter just turned 5 years old this past weekend, I am 28. To give the reader a better understanding of my perspective on single parent dating and how it affects children, I shall give a brief summary of the last 5 years of my dating/relationship life.

When "Bella" was born, I was single. Her father and I had split up before I even knew I was pregnant (though he is involved and it's an optimal situation). I had moved from my hometown, population 2200 to a huge city. Here, I have no friends, just family.

I spent her first year with her solely while on maternity leave. Then, not long after returning back to work in August 2004, I knew it was time once again to start finding at least friends, if not someone who was worth dating. I had never really 'dated' someone before. I was always in committed relationships. At 24 years old, I had no experience in 'taking it slow' or 'casual dating'. But, I began to network the only way I knew how at the time...the computer.

The first person I met in person was surely not meant for me. He was nice and great looking, however, just not my type. We had a fun evening and it ended there.

The second person I met was a great person who I clicked well with. Low and behold, I introduced him to my daughter not long after he and I had met. There was such an initial connection for him and I became caught up in the honeymoon aspect of it all, so I suppose I momentarily believed he might be 'the one'.

Four months went by and I became aware of some big differences between this person and myself. Where I thought I leaned toward being the more serious person in most of my relationships, this guy was taking it over the top. That was my wake up call, and on with being single once again I went. I felt bad that I had hurt him, but it just wasn't happening the way he wanted it to and I wasn't willing to sacrifice for him to 'fix' what he seen as broken already.

I then started my first real 'dating' scenario with this other guy in February 2005. This time, I did not introduce my daughter to him. We would go out, have fun and that was pretty much it. It turned out he was a high roller, nothing more than a player, though he did enjoy making sure the ladies he dated enjoyed themselves as much as possible. He spent top dollar doing it too. Though I could have fallen much quicker and harder for this one, I somehow seen through the facade and was able to see what was going on before I was hurt by his lack of commitment. It was one of the best learning experiences

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