by Viridiana Lopez

Created on: January 09, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

First of all, I'd like to mention that I have a step-father (whom I wish would've been my real father) and I also have a step-mother. I'll be writing two articles in one; one for a step-child and the other for the step-parent.

FOR THE STEP-CHILD:
Whether you're an adult or a teen I know it will never come easy in calling a step-parent "Mom" or "Dad", especially if this step-parent came into your life in your pre-teen or teen years. It also matters if your step-parent was a good or bad influence/addition to you and your biological parent. If you're reading this, then I assume he/she was a good influence. I'm writing it to let you know it's o.k. if you DON'T call them "Mom" or "Dad", because they married your biological parent to become THEIR life partner and not necessarily YOUR parent but more like your guardian/protector/adviser/guide...and I can go on and on as what they want to mean to you.It has to come out of your heart to call them "Mom"/"Dad" and if it doesn't come out of your heart because someone else used to hold that title, or still does then that person was irreplaceable and your step-parent needs to understand that. Of course this is ONLY if your step asks you why you never call them by the title of the position they've assumed. If they have never questioned you and you want to call them by "Mom"/"Dad" then do it! This person accepted your mom/dad with the whole luggage and they'd be more than happy to answer to "mom"/"dad!

It is NOT mandatory to call a step "mom/dad" or to even accept them yet as a mother/father figure because sooner or later it'll get easier for you. But do accept that your real mom/dad has moved on and this new person is making them as happy, if not happier, than your other mom/dad ever did, hence the divorce. THIS IS ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS, because YOU will eventually move on to do your life and you won't want to take care of your father/mother or keep them company. Yes, ironically even though they gave us our lives and spent at least 18 years raising us, we will take it for granted in the future. We are humans and as humans we are ingrates. So why be even more selfish and not let our parents be happy with a new love and life partner that WILL take care of them, that WILL help them, and that WILL give them a glass of water when they need it?

So if you're not ready to call them "mom/dad" (and you're an adult), chances are that you'll NEVER be ready. Then introduce them as "My mom/dad's husband/wife" or if they have a child together,

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