by Annette Radford

Created on: August 19, 2008

My mother had her own particular version of "The Look". She raised one eyebrow in the general direction of the seemingly deserving perpetrator and curled her lip on the same side in a sort-of half smile. It didn't seem to matter who was doing what, or who was the real instigator of the mischief. My sister and I knew the meaning of that look and would instantly stop whatever we were doing at least until Mum's gaze turned the other way again.

Being the elder one I copped more than my fair share of the blame so it was always in my best interests to behave. (Not that I always took that to heart.) My younger sister knew this and played up to it. While shopping she would grab something that we weren't supposed to have and hand it to me to put back. Mum turned around and caught me, as she thought, red-handed. "The Look" followed and I knew punishment was in store once we reached home.

As I grew older I realized that Dad also received "The Look". For example, if Dad wanted to stay to the pub longer than Mum thought he should she would say something like, "Oh well, what ever you want, dear," accompanied by "The Look". Dad would promptly make his excuses and head for home. When Dad tried the same thing in reverse Mum never picked up on it, maybe because Dad was a trucker and his face was permanently wreathed in wrinkles from the sun and smiles which reflected his easy-going nature.

It was never a good idea to lie to Mum. She seemed to detect any falsehood with bloodhound accuracy, and the eyebrow would rise. "The Look" alone was enough to make us amend any untruth, but unfortunately it didn't seem to work on some of our playmates. I know at least one occasion when Mum rang another mother to let her know what her dear offspring had done. Maybe punishment didn't follow, but there was no fall out so maybe "The Look" had missed its target.

I still get "The Look" now I am a mother with children of my own. If I allow them to do something my mother thinks inappropriate, I get "The Look". Or if I am what she would call a bit harsh...but now Mum is in her seventies, "The Look" has lost some of its power.

There are other things I say that have replaced "The Look". For instance, "Do you think that is a good idea, Love?" to my husband, and "Did you really do that?" with the emphasis on the "really", to a mendacious son. They are picking up on it now they are older, but a even a loud vocal disapproval never had the power of "The Look"!

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