by E. P. Ned Burke

Created on: August 19, 2008   Last Updated: September 21, 2008

I'm not much of a gardener. In fact, I could never even grow a sweet potato vine. I had tried it several times in my youth, following directions from my mother who had grown beautiful, shiny dark green leaves on a vine that was so full it filled the entire window sill of my childhood home. Mine always ended up buried in a hole in the back yard.

Years later when I lived in an upstairs apartment where there was no dirt for flower beds or any type of gardening, I suddenly got the urge again. I knew the air conditioning was too cold and dry for live plants, including African Violets which were the craze at that time. Nevertheless, I wanted to grow something as easily as my mother did, even though she had a "green thumb" and I was mostly all thumbs.

So one day I decided to try again to grow a sweet potato vine. I followed the directions exactly. First, I got a pint-sized Mason jar with a relative small neck. Then I filled it three-quarters full with water. Next. I took a small, healthy sweet potato and stuck a heavy toothpick through and across the narrow root end and let the toothpick hold the potato from going all the way into the water. I was instructed that the root end only should be in the water. It would take several days before the potato grew roots and a vine from the top. Finally, I placed it in my kitchen window where it got some sunshine and even a little moisture.

I saw that the water evaporated quickly so I made sure to check it every morning before going to work and every evening when I got home. I made certain my potato had water and double-checked each time to see if it had grown any roots. Days went by, then weeks, and still not one little root showed. I had heard Aspirin was good for the preservation of some plants so I doctored my wee potato with Aspirin, then added Rapid Grow. But still nothing happened. When the water began to stink, I called my mother, the green thumb expert. She said my apartment was probably too arid and cold. She suggested I put it in on my back stoop.

That seemed to help.

In a few days, the root end of my little potato sprouted a pale, hair-like thin root. Not very healthy-looking, but a root nevertheless. When more roots appeared and tangled in the stale water, I was ecstatic. "It's alive! It's alive!" I was finally growing my first plant. I couldn't wait to see my green leafy vine decorating my fireplace mantel.

As fate would have it, the morning I decided to bring my creation inside, I saw a scary sight. My vine appeared

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