by Ann Nurse

Created on: August 16, 2008   Last Updated: November 29, 2008

How to be Vulnerable

The dictionary's gives this definition of vulnerable. It says the following; "susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm: we were in a vulnerable position. Small fish are vulnerable to predators. Excuse me; it's impossible for me to find any redeeming qualities about being vulnerable. How much sense does it make to make yourself vulnerable to another person who has (weakness) vulnerabilities greater than your own? There has to be a more positive mechanism for making yourself available to someone you love. There is another way. It is called - love. There is nothing positive about the description of being vulnerable. If being vulnerable is what it takes to be found appealing to another individual, it would seem that individual was possibly looking for a human doormat. Respect is the cornerstone to any relationship. We feel an individual will extend an open invitation to be devoured by a predators, if vulnerable. Every person should be well aware of their personal assets and liabilities before they open up to being vulnerable. It is imperative to know "who you are." Every person owes it to his/herself to be guided by their personal integrity in every relationship and in every aspect of interaction with other people. How can the act of being vulnerable, which is negative by nature, cause a positive effect on any type of relationship with another individual?

It is human nature for all of us to want to be accepted, even loved, by other people. It is pure folly to expect that everybody we meet and want to know better, feels the same way about us. Can we conclude that the act of being vulnerable will achieve or produce a favorable response from another human being? As humans each of us have some vulnerability. It is neither rational nor reasonable to expect exposing our vulnerability to another will automatically generate a favorable responses in any area of our lives.

Maybe vulnerability has some redeeming qualities after a relationship has been established and some trust has been built. Taking a softer approach to some issue in a relationship is possible when trust and respect is core to the relationship. If the happiness of a partner is contingent upon a concession on the part of one, that individual may happily concede. Even a concession of vulnerability will cause the other individual in the relationship to be just as interested in the health, happiness and the continuity of the relationship, to want to also be open to concession. When these two respectful individuals discuss being vulnerable and conceding to each other, they will invariably reach a compromise. Vulnerability can work in this situation. Ground work has been laid for vulnerability to work.

Vulnerability and compromise work together. Respect and integrity should also be a part of this equation. If respect and integrity are not considered, someone is going to be the unhappy recipient of the consequences of -being vulnerable. It sounds like a recipe for heartbreak. Consider the circumstances in which you wish to be vulnerable. Decide whether being vulnerable will cost more than you are willing to pay.

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