by Liane Laskoske

Created on: August 16, 2008

When people hear the words "domestic violence", they picture a beaten wife, an abusive husband, cowering children. Though this is the most common form of domestic violence, there are other forms.

CHANGING ROLES

There are beaten husbands. Roughly 1/3 of the domestic violence cases involve men who are beaten and abused by women. A statistic from the US Dept of Justice report by Callie Marie Rennison states: "In 2000, 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner." The statement went on to say that each year, "an intimate partner committed 33% of all female murder victims and 4% of all male murder victims."

There are brutalized children. Even people who love their children can fall prey to this horrible situation and become abusers of the very things they cherish.

There is parental abuse. How many times have newspapers and television reported stories of the elderly being tormented, beaten and brutalized by their children and relatives? The burden of eldercare falls on the children. In most cases, these children have just finished raising their own children and instead of being free to enjoy life on their own, they find they now must care for parents who can no longer care for themselves. The new term for these people is the "sandwich generation". This situation can foster resentment. This resentment, especially if there is no relief in sight, can turn into violence against the parents.

CHANGING FORMS

Physical violence results in bruises, broken bones, and other injuries. It is not the only form of domestic violence. Some are loath to let their handiwork be made public. These abusers use words and actions to perform violence. Some may come right out and be verbally abusive by name-calling or yelling. Others will use sarcasm or snide remarks to cause guilt or hurt.

I was in one of those relationships. Throughout my 27 years in the marriage, he only did physical violence a few times, but he was very fond of yelling. I cannot even remember what he yelled. I've blocked it out. It became so frequent that I would try to zone out while it was happening. It seemed to go on forever when he'd start. I was sure it was my imagination, so I'd note the time when he started on me and the time when he'd leave off. Most of his yelling sessions lasted an hour. One time he yelled at me for three hours straight. It was exhausting, both emotionally and physically.

He also once threw my dog down the cellar stairs and broke his leg because he was trying to come to me. If my cat

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