by Linda James

Created on: August 16, 2008

Are on line daters real couples.

At one time I would have said no that on line daters are not real couples but after a really personal experience I have to say I have changed my mind about that subject.

I met a really nice guy on the internet, we were on a fan site together. I didn't know his real name and he didn't know mine. We would just talk on the site. Finally we moved to talking on yahoo and msn. That turned to talking on the phone. We met originally once a or twice a week on the net. We talked, we flirted and it all seemed innocent. But then we started sending a message to each other daily. Each time we would learn a little bit more about each other. Then the we starting talking more and more. We started to start each others lives. We talked about our jobs, family. friends, kids, bills and no subject was off limits. But we started to noticed that the more personal our conversations became, the more intimate our talk became. We started to miss each other when we couldn't talk to each other. We started to crave each other. The sound of each others voice became very important.

I was emotionally attached to a man I had never seen or touch or even had been in the same room with. As a matter of fact we did not even live in the same state. And we were a real couple. We where there for each other. The conversations because so intimate that it became sexual. We used web cams and the telephone to be intimate with each other. We argued and made up just like regular couples. We helped each other pay bills. We sent each other gifts. We did every thing that regular couples did. We even felt guilty when we talked with others of the opposite site. We got jealous and angry and promised not to do it again. This went on for about 6 months. We even told each other that we loved each other. No one understood it but us.

This is what I learned from this. I realized what made people a couple. It is not sex or gifts or dating. It's the emotional attachment. When we broke up it was devastating. We were emotionally scarred and broken. Because an emotional attachment is worst than any physical attachment. We did something that most people didn't do. Most people got physical and got caught up in peer pressure from family and friends. Other people interfering with what they did. We didn't have that problem, there were no dinners with family, there were no movies with friends, there were no co-workers to add their say. It was just me and him. We didn't have the physical so we concentrated on the emotional. We were true friends in every sense of the word. We communicated and built a foundation that included true understanding of who we were as people. After we broke up, I still longed to see the man that I had fell for and he longed to see me. So I took the train and went to visit him for the day. We visited a art museum and went to lunch. And we laughed and talked and had a good time. In some ways it was good that we met and it was also very sad. We wondered what would have happened if we had met in the conventional way. But we also understood what we had was special and rare. To this day we are still friends. We talk at least once a week and we help each other with our current love lives and we never talk about what was in the past. We know that it existed but it is never talked about. We have moved on to just being real friends. And what we realized that the reason we can been friends is because that is what our foundation really was built on what true understanding of each other.

So yes I believe that on-line daters can be real couples. So real that it hurts and do damage. I suggest that you be carefully with the internet it is nothing to play with.

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