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opened both curtains!

However, then came the 70s and 80s and the punk movement - I may not be able to dance but I had rhythm and could pogo with the best. Soon my dancing was pretty acceptable as I bounced up and down - and two left feet were fine.
New Romantic and New Wave were a little more tricky but I found being in a group was the best option.
Then came more shows and, being older, I could not get away with mere shy grins at my dancing ineptitude. I had to learn to waltz for my part in My Fair Lady and, somehow I did! My two left feet had developed their own style - I actually allowed my partner to lead and even though he winced a few times, we made it safely through most nights!

Then came The Sorcerer and I had the leading part! Dance was de rigour for the part of Aline and I was really scared. I just knew my two left feet would let me down.
However, due to some pretty clever choroeography and camaflouge (my feet always hidden by long dresses or other people during the most difficult parts) I found a new confidence and, still two left feet but I could now do a fair waltz and even try a polka as long as I could finish by galloping off stage (as I never learned to stop).

Now, with shows behind me but considering going back I still have two left feet but I also have other talents - I grew boobs (distraction), my voice developed into a resonable mezzo soprano and I can act a bit which covers a multitude of sins - I even glare at my feet when they really will not follow the music, which always gets a laugh - not good in funeral scenes though!

So, two left feet may be an impedement to a career as a ballerina but sometimes you know you just have to make do with what the good Lord decided to give you and be thankful for other talents.

Learn more about this author, Sammy Stein.
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