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Filthy pillow talk can ignite or extinguish passion. It has been a key part of my physical relationship with my partner ever since the beginning of the relationship. I understand that filthy talk isn't for everyone, a verbal description of some sexual act or your intentions might not turn you on. Please allow me to give you an insight into how dirty talk works for me and how it can be used to short term and long term benefit.

Dirty talk helps to establish and maintain a common ground between sexual partners. You are relating both your own sexual needs and experiences with those of your partner, by doing this you explore not only just the common ground, unchartered territory is uncovered too. The unchartered territory is constantly evolving and it takes a lot of trust to explore the unknown together, this reinforces emotional and physical bonds your share with your partner.

The free-flowing, mercurial nature of dirty talk is something I wish to explore further. A frank discussion about wants and desires can turn steamy. It's not all about "Oooohs and ahhhhs". The conversation can move off at a tangent and this is often where some of the hottest conversations take place, where you least expect them and/or on completely new topics. Relax and be honest, use language you are both confortable with. By keeping everything loose this will go towards strengthening the bond further still. I found that my levels of overall communication with my partner significantly improved, after all discussing everyday matters becomes a whole lot easier if you are able to articulate your fantasies and desires.

I can understand how someone may feel shy, embarrassed or nervous whilst talking dirty. I know I did. You are laying innermost thoughts bare to someone you love or at very least care about. It's entirely natural to feel this way. Go at your own pace and explore topics you are comfortable with. Inject some humour into the discourse too, remember there is a difference between humour and ridicule. Never under any circumstance adopt a condescending, dismissive approach to your partner, even if you are nervous. I always find that lots of carressing and stroking helps reassure your partner that you accept them and their words fully. This may not always be possible if you are having a telephone conversation, so adopt a softer tone if your partner sounds apprehensive.

Another point to take into consideration is that dirty talk should never be rushed. Neither should the transition from talking about an act or fantasy to reliving it in physical terms be hurried. Anticipation and negotation are key. Build up slowly, kindle the passion. Work out beforehand what is acceptable to all involved. Trust is reinforced by open, frank and honest communication.

Dirty talk can transform a good relationship into a amazing, communicative bond with another. It's not just about sex. Opening up and sharing your thoughts is a expression of love towards another human being. It doesn't have to go any further than thoughts and feelings and if the talk turns into actions, this is a bonus.
Erotic conversations are an activity that can be enjoyed for their own sake and are a perfect compliment to other forms of sexual activity. They enhance and provoke different responses from others and ourselves.

Learn more about this author, Annie Good.
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