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Young children's brains are often compared to sponges; they absorb new information swiftly and are very quick learners. Consequently it is extremely important that parents acknowledge every action immediately so that the children can learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. To every action there is a reaction; parents should on principle respond either positively or negatively to every action their child makes in the early years especially.

Reward for appropriate behavior is just as important as discipline is for inappropriate behavior, it must occur immediately in order for the child to make the association. If a child's inappropriate behavior is gone unchecked, then naturally they will assume that they have done nothing wrong.

Young children do not behave because the act is intrinsically right in itself, or follow through the action logically beforehand, weighing up the consequences. They simply act in accordance to how they feel right then and there, consequently a distinction needs to be made between what is accepted or not. A child must learn that they cannot just pull down their pants in public and go to the toilet whenever they want. A sharp tap on the hand and warning should immediately follow this action every time until they learn they must not do it. However when a child asks their parents for a potty they should always respond with praise, thus they will learn the distinction between the two actions and will soon always ask for the potty. It is an important part of their learning process of social manners, eventually their rationalization skills develop and they can independently act with knowledge of consequences.

Children are uncomplicated creatures and are easily pleased. It is the parents who allow them to become unsatisfied and grasping. When they are little the positive reward does not need to be major, like a toy, something small will suffice. Also it is important not to get into the habit of giving sweets for a reward as it sets a bad example and certainly is not healthy for their teeth. The reward simply can be praise, a smile, a hug. Children as a rule crave for physical contact, especially little ones; they are never happier than in the arms of mummy or daddy.

Alternatively the reward can be appropriate to the situation and the action. For example if the child is well behaved in the library, is quiet, respectful and obedient, then the reward could be in the nature of an extra book or video for them. Similarly if they have been patient whilst out shopping, you can praise them for being grown up and ask them if they want to help you with the unloading the trolley and packing. I have found in my experience that young children love being given responsibility, in their eyes they are grown up because they are helping mummy or daddy. Money as a reward in early childhood is not to be recommended in my opinion, for they have little concept of it, it is important to make the reward relatable to them.

Learn more about this author, Hannah Curtis.
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