by Tonya Kirkpatrick

Created on: August 15, 2008   Last Updated: August 20, 2008

Finding yourself vulnerable is something that not all women want to let happen. In most cases women who have let themselves become vulnerable have at one point or another been hurt by a man. Either intentanally or by accident. There is a fine line between being vulnerable and applying bounderies. Bounderies are lines that you dont want to cross either because it might be something harmful to you in one way or another or you apply boundries to keep yourself from doing something that might harm your mate or a boundry to family members for area's of your life that shouldnt pertain to them.

The definition of vulnerable is 1. without adequate protection: open to physical or emotional harm. 2. extremely susceptible: easily persuadable or liable to give in to temptation
3. physically or psychologically weak: unable to resist illness, debility, or failure so as you can see becoming vulnerable could go one of both ways. You should never find yourself vulnerable in a relationship that could cause you either physical, mental or emotional abuse. Opening yourself up to this type of a relationship is neither good for you or acceptable.

I found myself in numerous relationships that I didnt want to open myself up in the relationship on fear that I might find myself being hurt. In every case whether it was a serious relationship or just a casual fling not allowing the other person into what I would say was my world made him feel as if I didnt have complete trust in him. I guess you could say that all emotions are tied together in one way or another. If I let my guard down and allowed for someone to have complete access to me then I was just being one of those women who my mother always taught me not to be. Dont allow the man to have control over you or let him tell you how too be was what I could hear my mother telling me in my ear. But once I let my guard down and let him in, I realized that what I then was allowing myself to feel was a sense of completion. I didnt have to worry about keeping my feelings locked away because I could share whatever it was that was either upsetting me or bothering me. This was a feeling that I had never felt before.

"What doesnt kill you makes you stronger" is one phrase that comes to mind. If you become vulnerable then you are allowing yourself to put complete trust and faith in your spouse or partner and that in its self makes you stronger.

There are several things needed to sustain a relationship either between spouses or mates and even family members and friends and that is trust. If you cant trust your friends and family and partners then you have built that relationship on a bad foundation and eventually it will crack and fall to pieces. Where if you allow yourselves to become vulnerable with one another and allow them inside you will find that they will be willing to stand beside you when the going gets rough. We all need that at one point or another. You must have faith in what you are feeling. Your heart is always right no matter what the circumstances.

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