by Donna Carroll Batton

Created on: August 15, 2008

As generations age and move on in families, traditions change. When you're a child, enveloped in the magic of the season, you think Christmas will always be at grandmas, or Aunt Helen's, or wherever your family spends the holiday. You don't realize that as the world turns, family situations change.

My family is now in the middle of a "tradition change." Truthfully, we are all lost right now as to how we should forge new traditions. For the last few Christmases we have all been floundering, not making specific plans until the last minute, and nobody completely happy with the outcome.

When I was a small child, Thanksgiving was always spent at Aunt Ruth and Uncle Paul's house. Though their house wasn't very big, our family of eight spent the day with my aunt, uncle, two cousins and my aunt's parents. Christmas saw a reversal, with everyone coming to our house for the day, including dinner. I have many happy memories of those days.

When my five siblings and I all left home for lives of our own, it was a given that we'd all be back for Christmas. The siblings who had moved out of state made it as often as they could. The rest of us took it for granted that Christmas would always be at grandma and grandpas.

When I was first married, there was some confusion for the first couple years as to which parent's house we would spend Christmas Day. One Christmas, my husband and I actually ate two Christmas dinners not wanting to hurt our parent's feelings. The following year, I invited my in-laws to our house on Christmas Eve. We made it a party. I provided food and drinks, and we exchanged gifts. This went over so well that my sisters-in-law decided we'd all take turns having the Christmas Eve gathering. This freed us up to spend Christmas Day at my parent's house.

This was the way it was for all the years my children were growing up and even when they married and started their own families. They, of course, had to make the same adjustments with in-laws as I did, but they worked it out much the same way.

During those years, I was divorced. After going it alone for over twelve years, I met and married my soul mate. I moved to Florida as I had retired and my husband (a Floridian) was still working. I spent the next three Christmas's in Florida. Missing my family during the holidays was bad enough. But singing Christmas carols in the park, on an 80* day, wearing shorts and flip-flops, just wasn't Christmas in my book. The fourth year my husband and I came up north and I introduced

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