by Amy Chavez

Created on: August 14, 2008

If I have learned anything about my Creator, It would have to be that "his ways are higher than our ways, and his thoughts higher than our thoughts". There has not been a single time in my life where I can honestly say that I knew before hand how God would work through a particular situation; but the truth is, he always has the final say, and he is always faithful.

As I write this article, I do so from one of the darkest valleys God has ever entrusted me to walk through. Before I elaborate, I must first set the premise for why I believe God has allowed these circumstances to overshadow me, thus making room for his illuminating supremacy in my life. As I look at my life, I am reminded of the story of Jonah, "No" I was not swallowed up into the belly of a giant whale, but I was in total disobedience to the will of God, and like Jonah, I knew it.
Eight years ago I met the man who would later become my husband. During the onset of our courtship he was not a Christian, however, he was very open to attending church with me and learning more about the God that I served. I truly believed at the time that I had God's plan for my life all figured out, however, about six months into our relationship I started to notice that the sweet sustaining presence of God was becoming increasingly absent in my life. I cried out to God to reveal to me why my peace and fellowship with him had been broken, and he answered me with the following: "Do not be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever". This was not the answer that I wanted to hear, and despite Gods many attempts to get my attention, I decided to go in the opposite direction of Gods will, and a few months later we were married. I tried for several years to manipulate God and his word to correct my fatal error in judgment, or more accurately, my outright disobedience to his will. But I have learned that God can not and will not bless disobedience, and the choices we make in rebellion to God will reap a disastrous harvest. My marriage has proven to be an incredibly turbulent journey, but nothing could have prepared me for the deep dark depression that nearly took my life these past two years. I lost all hope, even my very will to live, I could see no way out, and I had no fight left in me to go on. During the onset of my depression I cried out to God to remove the pain and emptiness that had consumed me, but he remained silent, I abused prescription drugs amongst other substances to quench the bitter hallows of my soul, but

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