by S Lorentz

Created on: August 14, 2008   Last Updated: September 26, 2008

A week after the celebration of my 16th birthday I was informed that I was pregnant. I had a little seed growing inside of me. I was in a psychiatric facility because my family thought I was depressed. I wasn't depressed as much as deprived of my own childhood. I was sexually abused as a child and grew up before the age of 16. Now I was to be a mother when I was still very much a child.

I had attempted to have an abortion twice throughout my pregnancy. The first time I went with my mother and the clinic was cold, sterile, and lacking life. I was responsible to nourish and tend to this growing life inside me and I left in tears. The second time I went to a dirty office in a bad neighborhood in my fifth month of pregnancy. I saw my baby's fingers and toes and knew this decision would haunt me forever. I decided on adoption and met a wonderful couple from out East who couldn't have children.

About 17 years ago to the day, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was six pounds and 7 ounces. I held her the day I left the hospital and rocked her. I knew the family I had chosen would take good care of her. We were scheduled to go before a judge to finalize the adoption in a month and a half. My precious little girl stayed in a foster home until then.

A month after my sweet bud was born I decided to visit her. I decided from that day that I was going to keep her and cherish her. This was my second chance and my opportunity to show the divine love a mother has for a child. I picked her up from the foster home and will never forget the foster parent telling me I did not deserve her. Maybe I didn't; but I'm grateful none the less.

My inspiration and greatest gift to me was my daughter. She has blossomed into a wonderful young woman. She cared for me when I battled Cancer; with daily radiation and weekly chemotherapy. She has always helped with domestic chores and tending to her younger brother. She is divine in her own right and maintains her female virtues. I would not be who I am today without my sweet flower, my daughter.

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