1 of 1

Write now Article Tools

When the 'Rents Come a Knockin'

Having your parents visit your home can become a strange mix of warm-fuzzy feelings and twilight zone phenomena. The people you spent the first part of your life with are now guests in your space observing your lifestyle (which may be quite different from what you grew up with). This melding of realities does not have to be earth shattering, however. Here are a few tips to make the most of your time together.

First off, assign your parents their own space. This goes for any guest in your house. Give them a place to sleep and a place to put their stuff (hopefully out of the way). This immediately puts guests at ease by making them feel that they are not in the way and by giving them a place to retreat to if they feel bored, tired, or overwhelmed. After assigning space, respect it. You're loaning it to them for the duration of their stay. If you have stuff in the guest room that you'll need to access, get it out of there. If you let them keep their bags in the corner of the living room, don't hover over their bags to reach something on a shelf. If they are crashing on the sofa, once it's bed time, that room is theirs, no rummaging for something in the dark, or unwinding on the sofa before bed.

Next, your parents probably live on a completely different schedule than you are used to. While they are visiting you, try your best to acclimate to their routine. Get up when they get up, observe quiet time after their normal bed time. If your parents have extreme schedules and rise at 3am for a morning jog- let them know that they are welcome to get up and bump around, recommend some local trails for them, and then let them know that you will be rising shortly after they return.

Finally, remember patience and breathing. House guests have potential to really cramp your style. That kink in the hose can be double when your guests have also raised you. Realize that you will get annoyed, perturbed, and frazzled and prepare an exit strategy. Practice counting to 10, make an excuse to retreat to your room, or plan on spending lots of time out of the house- whatever you think will help you stay pleasant. Nothing makes a visit more memorable than you exploding into an angry tirade as your face turns deep crimson. Memorable, sure- but not in a good way.

Parents love to hear and see what their children are up to- how they live, what they experience daily. But their visits are an intersection of past and present with implications of either zen-like harmony, or crash-and-burn fireballs. However, if your parents have a space to call their own, if you attempt to accommodate their schedule and lifestyle, and with a little deep breathing, your parents' visit will be full of good times and great memories.

Learn more about this author, Gretchen Gingerich.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about How to make your parents' visits pleasant, fun and comfortable?
We want to hear your view. Write now!