by Zoumana Coulibaly

Created on: August 13, 2008

Marriage is a long term commitment for the best and the worst times between two individuals. In certain cultures, marriage happens without love. In the western culture in general and the American culture in particular, most people get married because "they found love" in the other person. Today, the divorce rate is above 50% in the U.S., and it is most likely that this rate will increase. For the advised person, it is for 90% of the case during the dating phase the success or failure of any eventual marriage can be predicted. Three general indicators can be used in making such prediction.

1-Lack of patience:
Most American in general, and the younger generation, those in their early and mid 20s, in particular want everything now and fast. That virtue which is patience is fading in our behavior nowadays. For example, we get angry when the subway or the bus is 2 or 5 minutes late. We are so impatient that we can't even take the time to stay home and cook a meal. Patience is the first requirement for any long and lasting relationship. Before engaging in anything intimate, there should be a considerable time during which both partners get to know each other's interests, values, defects, and qualities. At first, there might not be any convergence of interests or values among others, but the power of patience ultimately leads to communication which helps open up both parties' heart and reveal the reasons why they believe in X, or not.

2-Peer Pressure:
This is mostly present with young adult and is most times the cause of the first mentioned indicator. We live in a society where most people get married at a very early age and at an incredible rate. Again, the lack of patience make us fall into the trap of thinking that we must be like others and therefore get married like everybody else. With Peer Pressure, we decide that we know enough about the partners and mostly tell ourselves that we should give it a shot. By having such thinking, we ultimately accept that we don't know the core values and interests of the other party which is the least that needs to be known.

3-Recognizing True Love:
In the United States, most people judge others through their outside appearances. When seeing two individuals kissing or hugging, most of us would define that as love due to our hastiness to judge based on the outside. True Love means being there for his or her partner; it means communicating with his or her partner and through meaningful actions, showing True Love. For example, most people in this country show love only in Valentine's Day. If the amount of love cards and bouquets that were sold on a single Valentine's Day where sold in a month, i would be able to say that the majority of American couples know how to recognize True Love.

Most people might disagree with this article, but let think about it one moment. Why would we marry someone who likes to party while we don't or who wants to get married just because his or her friends are. Surely, there are differences that we notice only after marriage, but when the main foundations, which are patience in knowing his or her partner and True Love, are built, it is more than likely that happiness will follow.

Learn more about this author, Zoumana Coulibaly.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.