by Sarah Fortin

Created on: August 13, 2008

I was sitting one afternoon relaxed in my armchair. I had the remote in my hand but I was too deep in thought to turn the TV on. I was contemplating some things in life. One being I do not posses a job; the other being my wife does. I came to the conclusion that she will think she is the man of the house now. This is lunacy; I am the man of the house. I'm the one who owns a penis. You cant be a man with out a penisI see what the game is now she is going to go to the doctor and get one. Or I know she will steel mine when I'm not looking and she'll wear it. I must prevent these happenings.

I was becoming very angry knowing now what her plans are. I jumped out of the chair and kicked our bedroom doors down. I smashed em. I can already feel my manly power pulsing through my blood. I have taken my manhood back from her. For the moment anyway, later I will have to make drastic assurances in order to keep it.

I herd the door open. I knew it was she. I could sense the malevolent plots against my penis. I came from the living room to see her. She had her hands in her pockets. What could she be concealing in there? Scissors? A knife? Who can begin to imagine the thoughts of a crazed mind?

She came closer to what would seem like, hug me. But I knew better, because I am smarter. My ingenious mind is a benefit of being a man; I know she wants it for herself. I pulled a way and went to the computer room. I sat down and began to play spider solitaire. She followed me and asked if dinner was ready. I explained to her that I had had a difficult day as it is and did not have time to make dinner. She turned and went into the kitchen, to make dinner I hope. I'm starving.

After dinner she stood up to get the dishes. I strained to see any bulges through her pants. I had to find out if she had already acquired a penis. She began to wash the dishes in the sink; I stood behind her. I had to find out what she was hiding if anything between her legs. I pressed right against her and put my hands over her naughty area. A relief I didn't feel anything. Kind of a double-edged knife really. If she hasn't found one of her own, then she will defiantly be after mine tonight.

She turned around and asked if I wanted her to forget the dishes and go to the bedroom. I quickly pulled away. I replied she was doing a fine job and that I was very tired after all the MAN things I had to do all day. She raised one eyebrow at me and went back to the dishes. I win; I am such a good arguer. I walked back to my computer.

While she was doing the dishes I decided to quickly use the computer to get rid of any temptations of sex. It would be the end of my penis if we were to be naked together; that was probably her plan all along. Now I know why she is always trying to have sex with me, it's a plot to steal my manhood. I know just what to do. I went into the bathroom, I took out my straight razor that I could never figure out how to use. I removed my penis and testicles, which hurt and I ate them. Now she can't get them and I keep my manhood. I'm a man.

I sat there on the toilet lid, proud of myself, just then my wife walked in. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

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