by Teresa Brouwer

Created on: August 13, 2008

As the mother of three daughters, I couldn't wait until the teenage years. I was looking forward to talking about boys, make-up, and proms. I was excited to share my high school memories with them and let them know that I understood their feelings about growing up.

I taught all my daughters about self-love, self-repsect, and self-dignity and I told them that they are worth having a fulfilling future filled with an array of dreams and goals.

When my oldest daughter turned sixteen-years-old, things didn't turn out the way I hoped. She demanded more privileges and wanted to do more things. She was dating a boy and their relationship was becoming more serious.

No matter what I let her do, it wasn't enough. My daughter's curfew was 11:30pm on weekends, she had permission to ride in the car with her boyfriend, she went to the movies and dinner with friends. Her friends slept over the house and she had a full-time job making good money. What was wrong in her eyes?

She asked for a belly ring, tongue ring, and tattoo. I told her when she moves out of my house that she could do whatever she wants; a simple rule that isn't unheard of.

I compromised and gave her some privileges, but kept her from doing what I felt was inappropriate for her age. I listened to her feelings, argued with her a lot, and gave her more privileges when she earned them.

When my daughter turned seventeen-years-old, a senior in highschool, she moved out of the house and moved in with her boyfriend. She felt that my husband and I were too strict and that we were overprotective. What more did she need to do?

Her actions felt like a slap in the face. I believed that I compromised fairly, but it obviously wasn't enough.

Raising kids for twenty-three years, I always heard the word, consistency. Children must be told things over and over again and on a regular basis. Kids listen and they do hear us. In time, all good things will come from our upbringing.

As parents, we instill good morales and values in our kids. We teach them right from wrong, but letting go of our teenagers isn't easy. We must compromise, let them make mistakes, and allow them to grow. I believe that I gave all my daughters a lot of privileges and they were given wonderful opportunities.

It has been six years since she moved out. Now at twenty-three-years old, she has no tattoo, belly ring, or tongue ring. She has a wonderful job and makes good money. Kids do listen to their parents, we just have to step back and let them grow.

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