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Poetry: Humorous poems for children

by Mark Hart

Scary Nonsense




Our tale begins one cold fall night

The still air crisp, the full moon bright

Beyond the fields coyotes wail

Their lonesome calls so long and shrill

They scamper in a busy pack

Until they scent their victim's track

Then off they rush all teeth and tails

And chase their prey into the hills.




Deep in the bowels of a darkened cave

Where werewolves howl and demons rave

There dwells a troll bereft of grace

With knotted joints and sallow face

His grimy locks and pointed ears

Reduce the bravest men to tears

Within his skull his eyes glow red

And, methinks, his name is Fred.




Inside an ancient, twisted, oak

Concealed among its gnarly hulk

A spirit dwells whose wispy shape

Is blacker than a blackened cape

At midnights, when the air is still

It oozes out into the chill

To seek lost souls who can't be saved

And drag them down into the grave

Each night as tots doze in their beds

It silently floats above their heads

But with a sigh it soon moves on

Their innocence is far too strong.




Amidst the gloom of a Black Forest hollow

In murky muck where wild boars wallow

The throaty croak of a forlorn toad

Makes your neck hair stand and blood run cold

A gruesome goblin sits and scowls

To ravens' caws and hoots of owls

In full moon's light with bluish hue

He dines upon a mushroom stew

And when the shrill about him peaks

He deftly turns to you and speaks

While holding up his plate of goo

He asks, Would not you have some, too?




In a churchyard overgrown with brush

Where only bats disturb the hush

Lies the entrance to a marble crypt

Its lintel carved with ornate script

Beneath the vault of crumbling stones

Neglected like its trove of bones

There lurks a zombie vile and pale

Passed long ago beyond the veil

Alive, and yet it does not live

Whose
evil thoughts we must forgive

For solitude can drive one mad

But thoughts alone don't make him bad.




Yes, solitude can drive one mad

Or loneliness might make one sad

Just as it did to little Chad

A boy with neither mom nor dad

Nor siblings with whom he could play

And gaily pass the time of day

He never knew a cozy bed

Warm blankets wrapped about his head

For
Chad
was orphaned as a babe

And raised by skunks in a forest cave.




Chad seldom went out in the day

And learned to like the smelly spray

That kept all enemies far away

As merrily they went bout their day

Chad learned to dig for grubs and worms

Not caring for disease and germs

In fact, he felt it rather funny

When earthworms wriggled in his tummy.




Perhaps it is of no surprise

When long before the sun did rise

Young Chad sat up one chilly night

Awakened by a chigger bite

And as he scratched his heart stopped beating

A shadow among the trees was fleeting

Whose shape he could not quite discern

Causing his curiosity to burn.




He roused the she-skunk from her sleep

And warned he spied a figure creep

"With glowing eyes and fiendish form

We must prepare to spray a storm!"

The she-skunk wearily yawned instead

And patted Chad
upon the head

It's just a deer or bear or moose

Go back to sleep you silly goose!




With eyes shut tight but wide awake

The ghostly image Chad
tried to shake

Restlessly he tossed and turned

As curiosity within him churned

So while the others blindly slept

Silently out the cave he crept

Then breathing deep the cool night air

He quickly sneaked off to where

The form that caused his blood to freeze

Had drifted off into the trees.




A hundred feet from where he stood

Chad glimpsed a faint glow in the wood

And peering as with all his might

He focused on the hazy light

A greenish glow among the trees

As if propelled upon the breeze

It disappeared behind a log

Into a swirling bank of fog.




Chad trailed the shade across a creek

And up a hill quite slick and steep

It came to rest beside a pond

A churchyard standing just beyond

Its iron fence like blacked bones

Enclosed a moonlit sea of stones

And while he watched the shadow slipped

Into a creepy, crumbling crypt.




Behind
Chad
in the underbrush

A sudden snort disturbed the hush

It sounded something like a sneeze

Coming from amongst the trees

Then to his left a horrid wail

Made
Chad's poor heart nearly fail

He barely dared try crane his neck

To spy what might be coming next

The midnight sky was growing darker

Chad hid behind an old grave marker

While clouds choked out the silver moon

He felt a sudden sense of gloom

Preparing for the worst to face

Chad peered out from his hiding place

And saw a creature half his size

With wild green hair and glowing eyes

Walk toward the pond, out for a stroll?

And now Chad
saw, it was a Troll!




The Troll did not seem in a hurry

But stopped when it heard something scurry

Amongst the trees a Goblin darted

Advancing toward the dear departed

And once inside the graveyard fence

The Goblin gave a little dance

It cried again its horrid wail

And made Chad
feel as scared as

Well, I think you know, but I digress

Poor
Chad
was really in a mess.




The Goblin jumped upon a stone

And shouted back, "Hey, little gnome!

You can't catch me now that I'm home free!"

And as the fog around him swept

On nimble legs the Goblin leapt

Into the yawning open crypt where

He joined the souls of those who slept there.




Chad could only stare aghast

At where he saw the Goblin last

Until he glimpsed a gruesome face

Approaching now his hiding place

A Zombie with dark sunken eyes

That looked a little bit surprised

To see brave Chad
alone at night

He realized something was not right

The Zombie crept toward little Chad

Who sorely missed his mom and dad

Such fear he felt, so scared he looked

He knew his little goose was cooked.




Without a word the Zombie placed

A rotting finger near its face

And lightly laid the gnarled tip

Against his ragged upper lip

He whispered, "Hush-up boy! Be quiet! Sit still!

Or you'll be IT, you surely will!"

As soon as these words had been spoken

Chad felt as if a spell were broken

What does he mean, this fiendish freak

Is this some kind of Zombie-speak?




Before young Chad
could further ponder

The Troll toward him began to wander

Zombie pressed him, "Quick, make haste

And leave behind your hiding place!

"Just follow me lest we be caught

Into the crypt you must be brought!"

Instead without a second thought

Chad though to flee that cursed spot

Where Spirit, Goblin, Zombie, Troll

Conspired to snatch his mortal soul.




As Zombie rushed off toward the crypt

Chad turned to flee, instead he tripped

And fell headlong into a hole

Bout six feet deep and black as coal

A grave dug fresh the day before

To bury Old Man Overmore

Would now this pit, this trap, this space

Became
Chad's final resting place?




Strange voices rose above his head

Like grunts and groaning of the dead

As they approached the earthen pen

To seize their victim trapped within

Chad edged into a corner spot

The damp air cool, his breath felt hot

Forcing up his gaze he spied

No where to run, no place to hide.




Because
Chad
grew up in a cave

He normally could be quite brave

But now he felt a rush of fear

The jig was up, the end is near.

(to be continued)

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